The Quarterback Tackled My Heart (bxb)

Chapter Twelve

Did not reread or edit.

SETH'S POV -

"Don't play with me" he growled.

"I'm not, I'm serious," I said.

"You really love me?" he asked.

"Yes!" I giggled.

"I love you too, so much" he smiled pulling me into a hug.

He hugged me to his chest tightly and kept kissing my head repeatedly. I wanted this moment to last a little longer because I don't think I'm ready to tell him yet. I never opened up to anyone about this sept with Paris because she went through the same thing. I cut myself occasionally but not as much because I'm always with Asher.

I can't just tell him Oh hey, yeah I need to go so I can go cut myself he would probably kill me. He expressed how he feels about people cutting themselves before and he disagrees with it. He thinks that if someone is having negative thoughts or are depressed to get help from family and friends.

I've tried that before and it didn't work out. I told my parents I was depressed and they decided to pack up the whole house,  have everything transferred into the new home before we got there. I think they didn't want to believe the truth, they didn't want to believe that their gay son is having more problems when he already has enough. My parents never really said anything when I came out gay they just smiled and went back to work like nothing happened.

"Is everything alright?" Asher said pulling me from my thoughts.

I looked up at him and he was staring right at me. Blushing I pulled him to the cozy living room and sat him down on the couch. Sitting next to him I grabbed his hand in mine and inhaled deeply. I stared at our intertwined hands avoiding his eyes. I could feel his stare on me making my blush deepen.

"What's wrong?" He asked,

"There's something I need to tell you" I sighed

"You know you can tell me anything I won't judge you, you're my mate" He reassured.

"I've been keeping this a secret from you for a long time" I mumbled. When he didn't respond I continued.

"When I told my parents I wasn't happy and I was depressed they thought I needed a new scenery."

I looked and see him staring straight ahead of him not even blinking, a cold mask. His grip on my hand had tightened and he was breathing heavier.

"So we moved here to New York. The thing was I was glad because I had an abusive boyfriend that threatened me, even after we broke up. Before in the relationship, it was good, he was so sweet then everything changed. I started to get really insecure because of people at school would bully me."

"He saw that I was constantly crying and he didn't care he would just tell me to shut up beat me than rape me. After about 3 months of our abusive relationship, I left him. He was angry and threatened that he would get me again and if I dated anyone else he would come after me" I said tearfully.

It was hard telling him this and it also was bringing up past memories that I would like to forget. Turning to look at him again I could see him fuming silently. His eyes had a dark look to them and his hand that wasn't holding mine was clenched in a fist.

"I was majorly depressed and stressed out and I didn't know how to relieve until a loner came up to me and said that he could tell I'm sad and the best way to handle it was to cut myself. So I tried it out and he was right it did. So I started doing more than it became an everyday routine."

"I'm still insecure and depressed but it's getting better the more time I spend with you. I do still cut myself. I still can't help but think maybe I wasn't good enough for my ex-boyfriend, my parents hate me because I'm gay and that's why they're never home to get away from me and that i'm ugly inside and out" I said with tears falling down my cheeks.