The Suicide Note

Chapter Two

&& is the first step of my journey, and that means leaving school. I won't be graduating and moving off to college like the rest of my class. instead I'm dropping out.

This doesn't bother me primarily because I have no plans, or goals, I just don't know what I want to be.That's another aspect of this society I want to change. I'm eighteen and I'm forced to make a decision that will alter the way my life goes. If I major in business I'm limited to business even if I later find that I don't want to do that! It's stupid to make me decide my future when I haven't lived a fourth of it yet...

So today, instead of going to school I went to the library. I know, I'm such a rebel, but I needed a place to sit and think this out. If I'm going to set an example for the world I can't just dive head first into it.

The only thing I've realized is that I'm not exactly equipped to live without money, but that is because the world has made it that way.

I pushed the negative thoughts from my mind.

I've been sitting in the library for a little over two hours and I've learned a little about surviving in nature. Like how to make shelter, or scavenge for food. Writing history and teachings from the past is one thing I believe humans have gotten right. It's smart to keep track of things. Hell, that's why I'm writing this right now.

Another decision was made just moments ago. My phone. I don't need it. I want it. It may come in handy, but it has become a tool used to mediate our lives, and I don't need that on my trip.

I guess I forgot to write down that detail of my story. My final days are going to comprise my dream trip to Alaska. I want to see the northern lights. It's a natural thing that is not visible everyday and just anywhere. It's not the main point of what I'm doing, but I can't lie, it's going to be fun, and I don't want to die completely depressed.

I left the library and returned home leaving my phone lying in the trashcan by the library doors.

This next part is a conversation I had with my closest friend Ashlyn. I can't say it is word for word, but it's as close as I can remember.

Ashlyn is my closest friend as I've already mentioned, but she is also kind of my only friend. With the bleak outlook on life that I have, it's pretty difficult to make friends.

I was walking home from the library when Ashlyn bumped into me.

"Hey, there Eli, what's happenin?" she asked with a smirk. It was never a smile with Ashlyn.

"Nothing much, walking home." I replied flatly.

"You didn't come to school today. Why" she inquired.

"I'm not going back," I told her; she was going to be the only one I told. For some reason, I couldn't help but tell someone of what was happening.

"I plan to leave," I fidgeted in my spot "and not come back."

Her eyes widened at my news. "Why?"

"I need to travel!" I lied. "I want to go places before I settle down forever. I don't even know what I'm doing with my life!" I don't know why, but I couldn't get myself to tell her all the truth. I felt as though she wouldn't understand.

"Neither do I, but you don't see me dropping out of school!" she shouted.

"I'm sorry, but that's what I'm doing. Bye Ash" I said turning to walk away for good. I felt a sudden tug on my arm.

"I'm coming." She said. "you make a good point, I do want to see the world...plus my grades are good enough I can miss the rest of the year and still end with a 3.0 at least."

I didn't want company on this trip. It was a solo journey I was planning to take on my own, but I knew Ash, she wouldn't change her mind after deciding this.

I don't plan to tell her of my goal, but I will make this sound like a wild adventure. Honestly, this could be a good addition. Ash will be my example of how someone can live my way without being me.

I smiled and looked back at ash "I leave tomorrow at 8. To Alaska. No money, no technology. It's us and the world." I started to leave when I remembered a crucial point "oh" I paused and looked back at her "Tell no one."

The last thing I saw before I turn was her nodding her head in agreement. I guess I was going to have company after all.