Befallen childhood- Adopted by Hamilton

-20-

"I sigh and pull my sweater over my tank top and my hair out of it. I grab my things and walk back to my bag, putting them in and brushing out my hair.

As I brush my just washed hair, I think. I had to bites of an egg for breakfast, a granola bar for lunch, and an apple. I had tea with no sugar, ran three miles, and did 100 crunches in gym total today. Then I will have the walk to the theater. I look in the mirror at myself. I lost some weight, but I still hate myself. I put it in a braid and grab my backpack.

"What kept you?" Pippa asks, once I come inside. I shrug.

"The library." I pull my library book out of my bag, both so she can see, and I can read it.

"Why is your hair wet?"

"I had gym the last period and wanted to wash up."

"Okay, then. See you downstairs?"

"Yep." I head downstairs where Thayne offers me a cookie.

"How do you say no?!" He asks.

"The lord told me how."

"Hey, Kid." Lin says, walking in and grabbing a few nuts. "Feeling okay?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Just wondering. Whatchya reading?"

"Wuthering heights."

"Good book."

"It's actually some good shit."

"We're still counting!"

"Damn it. I mean dang it. That doesn't count, right?"

"It does."

"Damn is not a swear word."

"That's three."

"One!"

"Three." He says, walking away. I spend the show doing homework and reading. I do a similar thing each day of the week. I get sore but I don't care. My main meal is dinner. If I have any breakfast, I skip lunch. If I don't have breakfast, I have a bar and fruit. Most days I have one snack around 100 calories before using the treadmill at school or running the track. Noah joins me twice. I sleep over Aleighas on Saturday and eat two full meals. I go back to my schedule Monday, Ignoring something in my head telling me I am becoming sick. I have lost eleven pounds by Friday. I think the cast notices. Crap.

Pippa watched me as I sip my juice box she gave me. It's only sixty calories so I will be fine. Of course there is sugar too but I have to convince her that I am okay. Especially because eyes keep shifting to me.

"Can I help you?"

"Why are you so little?"

"Yeah." Anthony agrees. "I bet I could throw you all the way to the lights on stage." I laugh. That wouldn't be true for anyone. I now feel like everyone in the dressing room is watching me slowly sip this juice box. I'm thankful for this baggy Hamilton sweater, hiding me. They can't stop me now. Not when it has started working.

"I don't think the singing thing is working anymore." Oak says. "She's still worse then a truck driver." He over exaggerates by far.

"We need to force feed her every time." Leslie jokes. I start to play with my nails.

"Liv!" I wake from my trance to. Everyone is looking. "Are you okay?"

"I-i'm going to be right back." I see Pippa hit Leslie as I stand up and leave. I grab some aspirin from the other room and take it. Lin said it's okay for me to have it since I've had headaches lately but I know that he checks it because it's always moved a little. I head back to the room where I hear voices from.

"Lin won't tell me anything. He just says he will deal with it." Pippa says.

"He hasn't." Anthony says.

"Look, she's wearing a really baggy sweater." Says Jazzy. " So we don't know."

"Hey, I know what to do. The space heater." Says Pippa. "Put it next to her chair. If she takes her sweater off, she'll be in just a shirt. We can see if she really lost weight." I step inside, seeing her tinkering with the heater. I walk in to grab my phone and book and start to walk out.

"Hey, where are you going?" Anthony says, grabbing my waste and lifting me up.

"Hey." He sits puts me in the seat in the corner where I was before. I see him exchange looks with people in the room. I'm not light! If I were, why would people always find a way to tell me I'm not no matter how much I try to stop them. Maybe I just need to hear it.

"Where were you going?"

"I've got an art project that I haven't even come up with an idea for." I look at the space heater and then away.

"Want our help coming up with one? What's the project?"

"Thanks but I think something will come to me when I start. That's why I wanna go start now."

"What's the project, though?"

"Fear."

"Oh."

"Leave it blank. Than you're fearless." Leslie says, trying to lighten the mood.

"Take a break. You've did homework earlier today, you were at school late again. Relax."

"Run away with us for the summer." Daveed mumbles. We chuckle as we start talking about mistakes in shows when they were younger. Some stories are hilarious.

"Ever made a mistake on stage before?" Pippa asks me.

"Just falling off it." I say casually.

"What? How?"

"I was seven. I slipped."

"What was the show?"

"School concert. I broke my recorder and had to pretend to play it but even find half if the goddamn recorder. What about you Pippa?"

"This show, actually." She tells us about forgetting the lyrics once. Some people remember and comment. "It's warm in here." Pippa says. "How are you wearing a sweater?" She asks me. Really. Seriously.

I shrug. I'm actually okay. I've been cold lately.

"It's cold outside. You guys have like thirty minutes." I warn them. We leave the dressing room and I go and draw.