Befallen childhood- Adopted by Hamilton

43

"We did what we had to do
Won't forget, can't regret
What I did for love." I sing quietly to myself.

"Well you're hear early." Phillip says.

"Look, my eyes are dry." I sing and then laugh.

"Well okay then." She laughs too.

"The gift was ours to borrow" I say, continuing to draw.

"You fell like singing A chorus line today?"

"It's as if we always knew
And I won't forget what I did for love." I signal for her to sing.

"What I did for love." I snap for her because I only have one hand.

"Lin sang it all last night so I have it stuck in my he-"

"Gone!" Lin sings, running in. "Love is never gone! As we travel on!"

"Help."

"Love's what we'll remember."

"This is my fault." I say. Pippa laughs and sits next to me and looks at my drawing.

"Whatchya drawing?" I shrug. "A bird?"

"Yeah."

"Looks good."

"Thanks."

"I'll be back in five or so. Keep an eye on her?" He asks Pippa. She nods. "Thanks." He walks out of the room and I keep drawing.

"How's your wrist?"

"Better."

"Did you get stitches on your other arm?" She nods. "How many?"

"Too many. They weren't nice about it either. I don't blame them. It's not like I didn't put them there myself."

"Why didn't you come to me?" I put my pencil down and sigh. "There weren't that many before."

"At like three in the morning, I had an anxiety attack and when it was finally over, I went on my phone because I wanted to distract myself from cutting, and some kids had texted me."

"The same kids?" I nod. She puts her hand out. I put my phone in it and she presses a few buttons before getting to my texts. Her face is serious and then sad.

"You listened to them."

"It's just stuff that I already know. It was a reminder. So I got mad at myself and I cut pretty deep. I'm sorry."

"You believe this crap? None of this is true."

"There's stuff that you still don't know about me, okay."

"Like what? Because you don't drink and I doubt you've kissed half the guys at your school which means you're not a slut." I stand too.

"Well, you just called me one." I say, not harshly, though.

"What?"

"At the beginning of the year, I went to some party. Yes, a drank and yes, I've kissed a lot of guys. They were dared to kiss me so I spent the entire night worrying who would next until I got out of that and ran into the woods, where I found a fucking dead body and that's why they think I'm a murderer and a slut. Oh, and the lesbian part, I kissed a girl and some kids saw it. No, I did not chose to kiss her, but they don't care! What else is there?"

"A clutz, which you're not." I lift my hurt arm. "Corpse."

"I passed out a few times." She just passes me the phone after that because she doesn't want to read them to me.

"Cow, because I am one."

"You're not."

"Oh, right, prostitute cause I was sold for sex a few times."

"What?"

"And the phyco suicidal bitch, maybe you understand that one now. I'll leave out the rest." I say, putting the phone down. She steps forward and I jump back. "No. Get the fuck away from me."

"Liv."

"And don't tell Lin because you haven't kept a single thing from him."

"Olivia." She steps forward again and I step around the table. "I want to help."

"Now you sound like my third grade phycologist. Do you wanna know about that to or have you finally heard enough." I notice something to the side of me and see Anthony and Lin by the door. I can't recognize who is on the stairs behind them but don't care. I sprint the other way out and down the hall. I lock the door and go to the wall. What have I done?