Befallen childhood- Adopted by Hamilton

63

"Olivia, you need to drink it." I bother her, pushing the cup farther towards her. "Do you want a different one. We have-"

"No. Thanks. I'm fine."

"Well, you need something in you." She picks up the cup, sipping it from the straw. I know she doesn't feel good but she needs it. "Thank you. Vanessa can't get back in time." I say, standing from the table.

"You gotta come." She nods, understanding but I'm sure she is a little upset. The cast tends to wake her or keep her awake, though they don't mean to, and she just wants sleep. I fold the blanket and walk to the bookshelf.

"Let's see. Do you want, The Messenger, All the light we cannot see, Sara's key- oh, what about The immortal life of Henrietta stacks?" I glance back at her and she shakes her head.

"I read it on Tuesday." I nod, remembering how each time I saw her all week, she was reading.

"What are you reading now."

"Ante de ser libres."

"How is that anyways?" I ask, taking it iff the shelf.

"Pretty good." I grab All is quiet on the western front, knowing she might finish her book soon. I put them in her bag when she leaves to get dressed. She comes back in a college sweater with wet hair thrown up and leggings.

I grab a pre-made smoothie for her and she slips on her boots. She's quiet on the way in and choses to stand on the subway despite it being fairly empty for a New York subway cart. When we get there, she disappears off to someones room. I see her about twenty minutes later, with Carleigh who is putting up her hair. She confides in me more than her. But sometimes I just want to know what she's telling her. If it's things she doesn't tell me or if she's not as scared to talk about herself. I doubt she is. She's always scared of it. But maybe less.

"Are you teaching my kid about economics?" I ask after a moment, stepping in the doorway since everyone is dressed.

"She wanted to know."

"Yeah. Okay." I say, unconvinced.

"I did." Liv says. I shake my head, not knowing exactly why. But then again, why did I write a musical about an overlooked dead guy?

"Eliza's coming!" She smiles and nods before I continue down the hallway.
-
Liv's POV
"I don't wanna play." I tell Anthony. "You don't have to entertain me."

"Come on. I want to entertain you." My stomach hurts and I'm tired but mentally restless and my thoughts are scattered. He begins to shuffle the cards.

"No, I don't wanna play." I tell him, again, only half here mentally as I lay on the couch with him kneeling at the table next to it.

"But this is your favorite game." He pauses. "That's fine. Want to read? Lin brought the books on the table." I shake my head.

"Okay, how about I go and see what Pippa has."

"I don't wanna read." He looks at me, depressed and sorrowful. He doesn't know how to help me.

"Um- you can try to sleep or I have pencils and your sketchbook-"

"No, Anthony. I don't wanna do anything." I say, clasping my stomach. "I'm sorry but I don't wanna."

"It's okay. It's fine Olivia, don't cry." He says as I look at him through my tears. "I-I'll get Carleigh." He pushes himself to his feet and disappears, leaving me in the small room alone. I don't know how long it takes him i come back because all I can think about it the pain. I think of it as an equalizer and add to the chart, the pain going up and down but always staying high.

"Olivia?" Carleigh says, kneeling beside me. "It's alright."

I glance at the door to see Javier there. I don't want him to think I'm weak. I want to be as strong as him. But he is not mad at me for being weak. I am mad at me.

"Are you alright, Olivia?" He says, joining Carleigh.

"Yeah. I'm fine." I manage to squeak.

"Don't lie to me. It's alright that you're hurting. It's going to hurt." What I have can be very painful. Anything can. But they warned Lin that there will be very tough days. "It doesn't make you any less strong to tell someone that it does." He tucks my hair behind my ear and leaves me with Carleigh, knowing It's more likely for me to speak up without him. He knows how I feel about wanting to be that strong.

"Are you all right, baby?" I don't answer that. She looks at the stack of books from Lin's dressing room and the two from his condo.

"Let's take your mind off of if."

"You need to get ready."

"No, I don't. No ones been out for a while and they think one of the new swings is ready. She gets to do one prepared before they start throwing her into shows every time one of us gets hurt or sick." I laugh lightly as she picks up the stack of books.

"I don't wanna read." I say, quietly. "My head h-"

"Go on." She says. I don't wanna complain and she knows that's why I stopped. Vanessa says It's not complaining. It's speaking up to get the help that I need because they always have to figure it out themselves when I'm hurting and they need a better way to tell.

"My head hurts because of my shitty sleeping schedule." I laugh slightly.

"What if I read to you?" I smile a little. "You'd like that?"

"You don't have to."

"I'd be glad to. I haven't gotten to sit down and read for a while. Chose a book."

"You can."

"I don't know these books. What's a good one."

"The twelve tribes of Harriet." She pulls it out and looks at the cover as she sits at the end of the couch and I push myself up to sitting, slightly."

"Philadelphia and Jubilee. Nineteen twenty five."
-
"In an instant, she'd descended the stairs and was on her shoes in the small foyer." I read. How I ended up with the book? Carleigh had me read a minute while she checked her phone and told me to keep going once she was done.

"Hey, maybe she'll sleep through the night if you keep her awake." Lin says, peaking in.

"She's an owl, Lin."

"Well, this owl is helping Eliza move in tomorrow and needs to sleep tonight."