Honey, You're More Bear

Fondness for Fauna

Sam had always loved animals. Ever since he was a little boy he had found solitude with his pets. He loved to spend time with the cats that hung around killing the rodents lived in the grain silos on the farm he grew up in. He loved how they would curl up next to him in the sun dozing away the days. How when there were kittens they would romp and play and fight with each other, and then curl up in puff balls of furr and purr themselves to sleep. He would spent hours taking care of the dogs his family used for hunting. His job would be to fix their special diets. He made them customized leads that allowed them extra space to run. So that when hunting season came around not only would their senses be keen for picking up scents, but their bodies would be lean and healthy for keeping up with the chase.
Along with the domesticated stock Sam also reveled in the company of more exotic creatures. He would spend hours in the woods birdwatching and collecting insect samples. He would pick spiders out of their webs and sketch them under water glasses, only to return them unharmed after he was done with his "scientific inquiries". He would capture moths and butterflies in giant butterfly nets, making sure to fold the net into the mesh cage and to never touch the delicate scales on their wings, so that they too, could return to back to natural surroundings.
By the time he was in 5th grade he knew all the local fauna by both it's common and Latin names, and was working on being to identify some of the more useful plant life as well. Albeit mainly for the purposes of knowing what the dietary habits of the local animals were. Sam was a good friend to go camping with. He knew what berries would kill you and which ones would just make you sick for a couple hours. Even the adults trusted Sam with their pets and would often call on him to feed them when they were out of town.
So, when, at age 11 he told his parents he was going to school to become a veterinarian it came as no big surprise to anyone. What did come as a surprise however, was Sam's sudden impulse to start acquiring strange and exotic pets shortly after entering high school. For a child who had always prided himself on "putting nature back the way he found it", his sudden desire of pets of any kind, much less chinchillas and flying squirrels, was completely out of character for him.
Sam's father, Frank, adored Sam. He cherished his son's sweet nature and affinity for animals and felt like his son was personally responsible for the success of their hunting dogs which had been a healthy financial venture over the years. He decided that his son deserved whatever he could get him and took Sam to the local animal auction in Missouri for his 16th birthday.
   The smell was assaulting. The Lolli Bros Auction in Macon, Missouri is the largest animal auction in the American Midwest. Along with livestock and "alternative animal sales", one can purchase guns, machinery, real estate, taxidermy, and participate in estate sales. The auction is typically held over a three day period twice a year, and people come from all over the United States, sometimes from across the world, for a chance to sell and buy strange and exotic merchandise.
   Sam was awestruck as he watched a man struggle to push a precariously perched cage with a fully grown brown bear stuffed into it. The bear looked as though it could break through the chicken wire mesh at any second. But instead it merely sat there, blinking at Sam and picking morosely at the bars.
   Frank went over and helped the man with the bear crest the hill and then came back to his son. "Well, shall we go get you a critter?".
   Sam and Frank headed down into the one of the main auction buildings. For hours it seemed like they watched animals be paraded through and sold to the highest bidder. Sam was speechless as he watched average people acquire lion and tiger cubs. He gazed in wonder as the bear was snatched up by a middle aged man and his young son. He learned later they were planning on using it as an attraction in their small town gas station to attract new business. But the biggest surprise came at the end of the day, when a pair of giraffes were led out of the enclosures and marched through the ring.
   Finally the smaller more reasonable animals came through. When a litter of baby skunks came on the block, Sam turned to his father and pointed down to the center of the ring. "How about a skunk?"
"Are you fucking serious?", "Your mother would have a shit fit."
"They're de-scented. They can't spray. Plus it's a baby. When it's a baby you can handle it a lot and it will be tame."
"It's a goddamn rodent Samuel."
"No. Dad, it's not. Skunks are part of the Carnivora family, just like dogs."
   And with that the argument was won.
   Even so, Frank was right. Sam's mother, Rebecca, threw a shit fit. At first she wouldn't let it in the house, saying that, even if it couldn't spray it would still "stink up the joint." She was even more perturbed the day she came home and found all the drapes in the house in tatters.
   But Sam loved Skanky. He hand-tamed her by taking her with him everywhere he went. He made her a special diet of food grown on the farm, vegetables from the garden and grain from the field. He would feed her with yogurt and cheese from the cows and eggs from the chickens. It was as though they had everything they needed right there. He barely ever needed to go out to get her anything since it all grew right at home. With relative ease he was able to teach her how to use to the litter box, and soon she had full range of the house despite Rebecca's protests to the safety of her drapes.
   3 years later, when Sam left for college it was with many, many reservations he left Skanky behind. But the college had been very clear. There was a zero pet policy on campus. Especially exotic pets, especially such an dangerous exotic pet such as a skunk. Skunks carry rabies! Didn't he know that? Even if there wasn't such an iron clad pet policy in place, there was absolutely no way Mr. Samuel James Frinch was bringing Skanky to school with him.
   So, with a heavy heart, Sam left her behind.