Chemistry (Leafycynical)

(4(

Niall looked around at the melting snow that covered the ground outside the airport. He wasn't sure why he was doing this. At first he had been dead set on finding Calvin and helping him in whatever way he could, but now all he's been thinking about is how the older man might react when he arrives. Would he be upset? Would he want nothing to do with Niall?

He shook his head to clear his thoughts as his ride pulled up in front of him before confirming that it was indeed his ride. Unfortunately, clearing his thoughts didn't go so well.  As soon as he was situated with his luggage in the back seat, his thoughts automatically went back to the worrisome man. How was he even going to find out what room he was in? Niall ran a hand through his hair and sighed. Fuck, he should've thought everything out more instead of rushing in blind.

Why did he even care? It's not like anything was really wrong, right? It was just Calvin being his irresponsible, selfish self and it wasn't his job to take the role of his mother and remind him to eat his vegetables. He was just over thinking everything.

But what if he wasn't? What if Calvin wasn't okay and was depressed or something? What if he ended up committing suicide after Niall decided he was just overreacting?

Niall sighed to himself before directing his gaze out the window to observe the deteriorating snow outside.

Luckily, it didn't take too long to reach the Royal Garden Inn, mostly because the anxiety that came from waiting was almost too much to bear. After handing the driver his payment, grabbing his luggage and mumbling an insignificant goodbye, he walked down the small parking lot towards the entrance. Now that he thought about it, he really should've booked a room ahead of time. As he was thinking to himself, his eyes locked on something, or rather someone outside near the entrance to the building.

He almost stopped altogether when he just barely recognized the messy hair that for once wasn't buried beneath a cap. There Calvin was sitting on a bench, leaning forward elbows resting on his knees with a cigarette between his fingers. Niall couldn't help the slight frown that presented itself at the sight of the cigarette but he advanced towards the brunette nonetheless.

"Calvin!" The man looked up from the ground and turned his head in the direction of Niall's voice as he neared him. Calvin's eyes widened for a moment as he realized who had said his name.

Niall stopped next to the brunette, who promptly stood from the bench with a confused expression.

"You've started smoking again?" It was more of an observation than a question.

Calvin glanced down at the half finished cigarette before letting it fall into the soggy puddle of melting snow next to him. "What are you doing here?"

Niall cleared his throat, daring to look into the man's tired eyes as he spoke. "You.. you look different now.. it's worrying.."

Calvin let out a small laugh. "People tend to look different as they get older. I mean, just look at you. You looked even more like a lesbian than you do now."

Niall ignored the overused joke. "You know that's not what I mean."

"Then I'm afraid I don't know what you mean." Calvin replied before turning to enter the building, only to be stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

Somehow even in the cold, the warmth from Niall's hand seeped through his coat and into his skin.

"I don't care if you don't like me, just stop being a cunt and let me help you." He said seriously, the older man still facing the other direction.

"Niall.. I've already told you, I'm not fucking suicidal. I'm completely fine. Now go catch a plane back to England or whatever because there's no use staying here."

"You're smoking again, you've gotten thinner, you've got bags under your eyes.. I wish you'd stop fucking lying to me."

"Stop acting like you care."

Niall felt something short of anger rush through him at the other man's words and before he knew it he'd grabbed Calvin's forearm and jerked the brunette forward, Niall's lips dangerously close to his ear.

"If I didn't care I wouldn't have wasted money on a plane ticket. If I didn't care I wouldn't have called you. If I didn't care I wouldn't have bothered to find you. Don't you ever accuse me of pretending to care, Calvin."

-

"So why are you in Utah?"

Calvin shrugged on the other side of the small room. "I don't really know. I guess I just needed to get away."

"From what?"

"Well when I first moved to Seattle was when I started getting ripped apart so the air is just harder to breathe there. And my roommate is constantly checking up on me - probably thought I was going to kill myself just like you."

"Probably because he cares for your wellbeing."

"Maybe. How long are you going to be in the states for? Colossal said he's visiting soon."

Niall looked up from his suitcase. "He's um.. Not actually visiting. That's how I found out you were here."

Calvin opened his mouth as if about to speak before closing it and looking down at the carpeted floor.

"Are you actually okay? Or are you just saying that?" Niall asked out of nowhere. "Calvin I know we aren't as close as we used to be but you can still talk to me."

"I.. I don't know. I just.. I feel stuck. Like no matter what I do I'm just this thing that'll always be forgotten. I used to be something.. I used to be  something, Niall."

Niall felt something inside of him break at the desperation in Calvin's voice.

[A/N: shorter chapter..

Also this story will have slow updates (slower than they are already) because I'm thinking of writing a leafnision fic. Yes that ship is pretty much dead but with Onision's recent breakdowns and basically him being pretty abusive in his relationship with Billie and Lainey, I got some ideas. Oh yes this is going to be a dark one. ]