All About You [On Hold]

Day Four - Wishes

(Dedicated to AngeliqueTheManiAc because she is such a sweet person and she likes reading this book. Thank you so much for your lovely comments!)

Day Four – February 10

Wishes

 

 I have a lot of wishes and I know you do as well; I have come to know that much by now. But your wishes are different from mine because you like to think about everyone while my wishes revolve around myself only. And even though I’m trying hard to be on the same frequencies as your beautiful heart, on February ten, my wishes were still about me. Maybe that’s what people like me did – swallow themselves into an endless tunnel of self-pity.

     I wished too much, probably about different things every time but there were four of them that remained constant. I wished to be a part of a normal family – a happy one, I wished to lie down in my grandma’s arms again, I wished to be more confident – to speak without feeling nervous for once and I definitely wished for someone to understand me already. But like every time, the harsh truth of life slapped me hard in the face. Wishes were not a part of reality, no, in fact they were on the opposite poles; if one lived their lives purely on the basis of wishes, they’d never be able to enjoy the reality and if one lived in reality, they could never taste the essence of wishes.

      That’s how this world worked.

      I knew none of my wishes would ever come to life, but since I was at the bottom of the social level, I liked to imagine that they would. Amongst my distorted dreams, there was one in which I wished to know you more. I know I was thinking way too ahead of myself because for you to talk to me would be the equivalent of a miracle. And even though we did share a smile the previous day, I hardly thought you’d ever do that again.

     However, at that time I didn’t know how wrong I was.

     “Clay, why aren’t you ready for school yet?” my mom asked me in that superior tone of hers – something which I had come to dislike with a passion. I was sitting in the kitchen, nibbling on an omelet (the only thing I knew how to cook) while mom was getting ready for her work. My dad hadn’t come home the previous night and to think that mom didn’t even care about it hurt me more than I liked to admit.

     I pointed to the note stuck on the refrigerator. The school had been shut down for that day because of some maintenance.

     “Oh, well, you could have told me earlier.” I did show her the note on Friday but just like every time, she chose to ignore anything related to me. “Anyway, I’ll be home late tonight, so don’t wait and do something useful for once, okay, Clay?”

     Had I wanted to speak, I would have surely snapped at her. She never realizes that she’s always late and I still freaking wait for her because I’m the living proof of an idiot. I think I’ve this feeling, a wish, in the back of my mind which tells me that everything will be back together one day.

     Damn those stupid wishes and dreams of mine.

     Soon, I lost my appetite and decided of visiting Sip the Words. Though I worked there on the weekends, I ended up in that book café most of the times. And I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t have another motive behind going there, because of course the only reason that I went there nowadays was you.

      “Clayton, just the man I was looking for!” Regina announced upon my arrival. I rolled my eyes playfully at her exaggerated tone and went to sit up on one of the stools in the front of the café’s kitchen.

     She adjusted her brown curls and unwrinkled her apron. “Well, I wanted to talk to you about Lay,” she ushered nervously. I nodded calmly so as to urge her to speak more, but on the inside a million unnerving thoughts swirled like a cyclone.