"Do I look fat in this?" I ask in a low voice.
Parker looks me up and down and shakes his head. I sigh and tug on the hem of my oversized, white Stella McCartney sweater. My slightly torn jeans and camo Valentino flats make me look dumpy, but it's all that fits. I'm eight months pregnant, and it's getting hard to hide. Because my baby is small and I'm carrying her deep I'm lucky that I don't look like a blimp, but my stomach is nearly impossible to miss.
"Well, we might as well go," I say. Parker nods and yawns loudly. The poor guy is about to pass out, he seems to never be able to sleep anymore. I think it's the stress of the upcoming due date. Though no one has found out about my pregnancy yet, the threat is like a knife handing over us on a piece of string.
We are already late because I had a doctors appointment this morning. Our daughter is healthy and growing every day, and Dr. Daniels told us she should be born on April 25th and we made plans for her birth.
The parking lot was quiet and the hallways were empty. I went to my locker and tossed my salad and books into my locker, fishing my Anatomy one from the stack. I slam the door closed and meet Parker down the hall. He loses his balance and I grab his elbow to keep him from slamming to the ground.
"I fell asleep."
I shake my head and laugh a little. Only Parker could fall asleep standing up. We walk to our class and as soon as the door opens, all eyes are on us. I sit down and am still met with stares. I glance at Parker who sits down with a thud next to me in his desk. He doesn't notice. The class is almost over, so I don't bother to get out my things.
"When are you due?" Sadie Fletcher asks.
My throat closes up. My vision tunnels and I feel my blood rushing in my ears.
"What?" I manage to force out of my dry mouth.
"We heard you are pregnant," she whispers.
"Girls," Mr. Abrams warns. "Eyes up here."
I feel as though my body is shutting down. I can't move my arms to reach out to Parker. I know he heard Sadie and must be in the same shock I am.
I sit without moving until the bell rings. I run out of the room as fast as I can and push through the crowded hall. I hear whispers surrounding me and I want to scream to block them out. I can see the haven of the bathroom when my arm about comes out of the socket and I am jerked into a dark class room.
"When are you due?" a deep voice hissed in my ear.
I try to pull away but their grip is too strong. I try to call out but a hand covers my mouth. "When. Are. You. Due?"
Ryan.
"Get the fuck off of me," I try to violently shove him away but he's much bigger than I am.
His hand pushes on my stomach and I shrink back in fear. "Wow, you really are. What are you? Five months?"
"Eight," I growl. I manage to get away from Ryan and I shove him as hard as I can. "You're a dick."
"And you're a whore. Eight months... that would mean your little bastard was conceived in June." His eyes narrowed. "It's mine I guarantee it."
"You're delusional." I turn for the door and am yanked back.
"Why don't I just go talk to my boy Park? He'll know." This time Ryan tries to leave but I manage to pull him back inside.
"It's not yours. And you won't say anything. What would you even want a baby for anyways."
"Cause that means I get you." Ryan gropes my butt and pushes his lips on my neck.
I reach my nails up and rake them down his face before running into the hallway. The bathroom offers me comfort as I cry in the stall alone. I can't believe what is going on in my life. I never thought I would have to deal with any of this bullshit, and my drunken decision at a party one night may be what ruins my life.
There is a small knock on my stall door and it swings open. The new girl, Lyssa, stands before me and has a pitying look on her face. She pulls me up to my feet and leads me to the sink where she starts blotting up my black tears.
"What are you doing?" I choke out.
"Helping you look fabulous." Lyssa silently fixes my makeup and brushes out my straight hair.
"Why?"
"You were nice to me so I'll be nice to you." She smiles faintly and hands me a tissue from her Fendi bag.
"I'm sure you've heard, apparently everyone has." I smear on some nude lip gloss and take steady breaths in the mirror.
"I did. But times like this people need good friends."
I look appreciatively at Lyssa and give her a tight hug. "Thank you. I really mean it."
"You're welcome. Let me know if you need anything." Lyssa smiles and leaves me in the bathroom alone.
In the hallway, I avoid gazes and look straight ahead. I see Parker at his locker and have to refrain from running to his strong arms.
My boyfriend's dark eyes meet mine and he has a desperate look on his face. I fall into his chest and take deep breaths. "What do we do?"
"I don't know," he whispers. "I don't like how they are looking at us."
"We have to act like we don't care." I choke back a sob and Parker's arms tighten around me.
"Claire, why don't you two get out of here." I look up and see Edie and Zoe looking at me worriedly. "I'll make sure I cut someone if they talk about you."
We nod and head back to our cars. Though Parker and I had been at school for only 20 minutes, I was the longest day of my life.
***
I slow my matte black Range Rover outside of the drop box at the post office. My package is addressed to the place Dr. Daniels told me about, the same place she is sending a sample of my baby's DNA. The cotton swab is inside with the necessary money and forms.
I toss it inside and slam the blue door closed. Dr. Daniels will call me in the next week with the results, and I can only pray that Parker is the father. After yesterday, he is the only person I feel really understands what I'm going through.
I drive towards home, but my eyes are drawn to the doughnut shop that had just opened in down town Haumea. I park on the curb and step out into the hot air. My black maxi dress billows in the wind and I'm grateful for my Louboutin python sandals to protect my feet from the burning sidewalk. I smile at a women who is carrying a pink and white box in her hands, but she takes one look at my stomach and ignores me. I am over trying to hide my stomach since everyone knows at school, and I actually am a little relieved to not have to put effort in to hide it.
I picked out six of the most delicious looking doughnuts I've ever seen, and paid for them with my dad's credit card. He still hadn't canceled it, so I was going to use it until then. I took my doughnuts and my Range Rover and ate them all while parked by the beach. As I shove the delicious blueberry glazed one into my mouth, I stop to look at a hot mom carrying a beach bag and a pretty little blonde girl. They are both laughing and the mom tickles her daughter's stomach with her free hand. I look down at my own stomach and smile, and look up to see them joined by a man. He pulls the woman close and kisses the little girl.
I don't know if he is the biological father, or a stepdad or adoptive dad or just the moms boyfriend. But it doesn't matter. He is that little girl's father and no one knows any different. And no one will.
