↠ wild spirit {calum hood au} ↠

10 /calum/

// important note at the end please read //

calums essay

Scarlett left me in the parking lot by myself, off to write her essay. Now here I am, sitting in front of my laptop, about to type what could destroy everything.

Mr. Bircham told us to right the truth about each other and what we have learnt about each other in the past few months. The truth to be told, this was my chance to tell her everything; since I'll never see her again after highschool. She's staying in New York, and I'm going to Stanford.

I typed the first words, her name. Then got lost in my train of thoughts; just thinking about her drove me crazy. The thought of the words I would write drove me crazy, that I was going to confess my love for her in a final project grade; after everythinh we've been through. Every fight, and every kiss stolen. Every missed chance, every word not spoken, every lie, and evey missed touch.

Every opportunity I had to tell her that I, was mad for her. Completely madly in love with her, and every little thing she did.

Scarlett Dawson

Ive known Scarlett since freshman year, she thinks she was unnoticeable; but she was the only thing I saw. She might not've though I knew she existed; since I was on the soccer team and every girl threw themselves at me, but she was all I saw. Her sister, Violet was the most popular girl in school freshman year; still is. She asked me to be her 'friend with benefits'. I wasn't sure what to think about it, I knew her and Scarlett were sisters since the first day they walked into the school in freshman year.

Of course I said yes, in a weird way I said yes because I wanted to be closer to Scarlett; by having sex with her sister. It's disturbing now that I reflect back on it; but in my mind I thought that was love. This is supposed to be about what we've learnt about our partner; but I need to confess things in this essay.

What I've learnt about Scarlett is that she hates her calloused fingers, the way the feel on her face; how it scratches her. The first time she took my hand, I felt goosebumps crawl on my skin; the way her fingers felt on my skin felt unexplainable. Every person has smooth skin; which is what sets her apart. She isn't like those people who cake their faces to look pretty; she's naturally beautiful.

One of the things I've also learnt about her, is that she is one of the most stubborn people out in the world. She will act dead and get your emotions high so you'll do whatever she needs. Most girls would just flaunt what they have; but she prefers to act like she is dead.

The first time she saw Violet and I together was freshman year, she walked in; I pretended not to notice it, but I did. And it killed me. The look on her face was just complete and utter heartbreak; Violet just had a wicked grin on her face. I remember leaving that night, I walked out of Violet's room and Scarlett's door was cracked open; she was in her bed, crying. She looked up to inhale, or to wipe her eyes. It hurt me, to see her hurt. That's something you'd never want for someone who means so much to you.

When I was younger, I thought love was something made for you; but now, I have realized you must make it for yourself. No one other than yourself can control what you love or who you love.

Later in freshman year, she never looked at me, she always looked away when I smiled at her, she always grimaced at me; she hated me. Every feeling of love she might've had, was gone. Destroyed. Ruined. In sophmore and junior year it was the same, I still went to Violet's house, I still stopped by Scarlett's room, her door was always cracked open. I'd see her crying a lot of the time. The one time I remember the best, was when she was playing her cello at one in the morning. She has no stop to it; she always plays it; and doesn't care what time it is. I would sit by her door and listen; goosebumps formed on my skin. She just plays with certain emotion you can't explain; it's simply beautiful. And getting to watch her play like that was like the universes gift to me.

Knowing Mr. Bircham, he's probably reading this with a bored look on his face, I recently watched a movie with Scarlett, it's called Stuck in Love, one of the main characters, Samantha, was saying, "there are two types of people in this world; hopeless romantics, and the realists." Scarlett was asleep, the movie probably bored her to death, but after hearing that line it's like I had an epiphany; I'm a hopeless romantic. I'm willing to fall in love, even if it's going to destroy me.

Scarlett Dawson has taught me that it's okay to be myself, it is okay to not hide anything; that sometimes, I just need to smile and just live.

But most of all, she taught me how to love, she taught me to love someone to the ends of the earth. I'll always love her, even if we're on two completely different coasts, love isn't about the proximity; it's about the feeling you get, just from hearing their voice.

The unconditional love you'll always feel.

The things we don't do are what desetroy us in the end, and not telling Scarlett how I truly feel has destroyed me; it's causing me to run away from her, and try and for get love; to forget her. Her smile, her vibrant personality, her calloused fingers, and everything else I love unconditionally.

To forget her.

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what the shIT IM ACTUALLY CRYING. i watched the movie 'stuck in love' today and i reccomend it to everyone omfg it's the best.

so, i just wanted to say that you all make me so happy with your cute comments and all the votes omfg i didn't think this would do that well to be honest. i thought it sucked & so did my friend ayy lmao. but i just wanted to thank you guys for brightening my day with your sweet comments :)

and people are finding me on twitter i literally scream whenever someone talks to me about it like i want to hug you all. okay? ok. i love you guys so so so much. never forget that i love you.

dont forget to vote, comment, fan, and share :)

lots of love~ ken <3