chapter 10

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July 4th
I leave my ring on the counter and then head out. Its forth of july and i wont be spending it with my family. Just great. But Luckily ethan slept through all of that. I get in the car and I drive to The only place that I love. My parents grave. I park the car and I sit in the middle of their grave sight.
"Hey mom hey dad. I know your glad to have not seen me in a while. I'm getting healthy and working on my anxiety. I just feel so confused right now. It just seems like no matter how hard I try to be happy everything is always against me. But I mean what don't I have. I have a house, Cars. I'm a model,I have two beautiful twins, and ethan. But who is Ethan. Are we just sex. Like we never do anything else but have sex and little romantic conversations. Its like we're two best friends who fuck and have kids together but don't think anything of it. I love him I know I do but I just feel like we aren't one. You know? But I think all of this is just my anxiety. What should I do mom? Dad? Ugh I wish you were here. "
The breeze picks up and my hair begins flying in the wind.
"Is this a sign guys?"
The breeze whisp by ear almost as if there's a message. I close my eyes and I focus on the breeze.
The wind whispers
"Don't give up"
I open my eyes and fall back into reality.
Things are going to be ok. I just gotta keep going. I stand up and head back to the car. I drive to a nearby gym and get into an Intense workout Session. I have to burn this baby fat off some how. After my workout I freshen up and head to a hotel. I have countless text and calls from ethan
"Hey babe where are you?"
"You left your ring did you forget to put it back on"
"Hello are you there"
"Answer my calls"
"I miss you"
"Are you ok"
"Babe"
"The twins are missing you come home"
"Ok chloe im getting worried where are you"
I turn my phone off and I head to the hotel. I change out of my sweaty clothes and run a bath. I put one of the bath bombs in the tub that Ethan got me and light some candels and just relax. I drift off Into a world that's unexplainable.
2hours later.
I open my eyes and I realize the world I drifted Into was my life that I have now. I have the dream life. I knew things were going to work out. I just needed some time alone. Tomorrow I think Imma just relax. The next day imma go out to a party. Let loose. And then go home.
Ethan p.o.v
I wake and see chloe is gone. Its forth of july and i was going to attempt to have a little get together.  I look around the closet and then I check the twins room they are drooling and smiling. Check downstairs and in the basement and the patio. Everywhere she is gone. I see her ring on the counter and the worst of thoughts come to my head. But then I think maybe she was washing dishes and took it off and forgot. I call her phone and it goes straight to voice mail. I send her a few text and they all say read. She's alive but where? I warm the twins up a bottle and go upstairs to feed them. I call gray.
"Yo gray you talk to Chloe'
"Me and angel been busy sorry man"
He hangs up and I start panicking. Where has the love of my life gone?
2days later july 6
I went clubbing for the first time In forever. It was amazing. I drunk endless liquor and danced more than I ever have. I got drunk but was still aware of my actions. I turned Down countless sexy guys and ubered home. Ethan Is freaking the fuck out. I just needed some space. I pack my stuff up and head back home. I'm missing all of my babies.
I walk in the door and almost immediately I'm pushed against the door and met with Ethan's lips on mine. I kiss back and he looks right at me
"I thought id never see you again"
"Well here I am"
I stroll upstairs and I see my beautiful twins. They look bigger than ever ands its been 2 days since I left. I give them some love and affection. Then I go to unpack my stuff.
"So your just going to act like nothing happened" ethan addresses me
"I just needed some space to think"
"Think about what? Us?"
"Yes Ethan"
"Why do you have an attitude"
"Because Ethan I dont need you babysitting me. I'm a grown women who is capable of making her own decisions"
"You are a grown women with two kids to raise"
"I dont need you lecturing me right now Ethan"
Ethan hold my hands and forces me to look at him. He has sadness in his eyes
"Baby please tell me what you were thinking"
"I just needed to think if this is what I wanted.the house,kids, marriage, cars. All of it. I never planned doing all of this. I was going to live a simple life with a simple job and have simple sex with random people occasionally. Nothing as deep as this"
"What's wrong with this".
"Nothing I just had to take a step back. It just seemed like everything was moving at sonic speed"
"Did you ever question my love for you?"
"Yes"
"Why"
"Because Ethan all we ever do is have sex. Sex sex sex sex. We never go on dates, we never take vacations just for the heck of it, we never do stuff just to do it. It always leads back to sex. I wondered if that all this was. A sex lesson relationship that got a little to deep and wasnt truly meant to be"
"Chloe stop questioning my love for You! Not once have I ever questioned myself or you. for the love that I have for you. My love is so big it hurts. It hurts to think that you can leave me any time. It hurts to know that in the blink of an eye our lives can spiral down into something traumatic. I love you so much Chloe. I need you to stop questioning it. I dont know how to show it to you. Sex is like the only way I know how to show it to you. I've never  been in a real relationship let alone an engagement. My whole life has been popularity and great sex. I didn't know something as amazing as you existed. I love you chloe. Please don't give up on what we have"
"Ethan I know you love Me. It just took some time for me to see it. I dont like trusting people because Im afraid to get hurt. After my parent's died I never wanted to love anyone again. I never wanted to feel my heart break into a billion pieces. I do love you ethan. I do. I just have a lot of trust issues."
Ethan pulls me into his chest and strokes my hair.
"I'm never going to give up on what we have"

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