THE BOOK OF WEREWOLF CLICHES

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Dear Reader,

I am not going to apologize for my abuse of swear words, but I will apologize if I have offended you in any way or form.

Ha, ha, fucking ha, no I'm not.

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Now, I obviously know why most of you are here. It's either because you want to hear my overly sarcastic tone, or because you are also done with werewolf cliches. Either way, if you have stumbled across this book, by no means are you allowed to leave this bullshit.

I can give you three reasons why:

One, because I'm done with overused plots, and I think that you are also.

Two, I don't want the estimated fifteen people to think they are allowed to do any of this shit.

Three, I don't want anymore books that portray an unhealthy relationship.

Hence, the chapter title.

Okay, so we all know the story right? I am positive that most of you are familiar with this. You might have also fucking guessed it.

IF YOU DID, YOU MY FRIEND DESERVE A FUCKING OSCAR FOR NOTICING THE CHAPTER TITLE. In every fucking werewolf genred book I have ever picked up on Wattpad has had this same shit over and over again. The plot starts out with the lovely little virgin, frolicking through the forest with her white dress, and her pretty little doe eyes sparkling in the afternoon sunlight. When suddenly,THE BIG BAD FUCKING ALPHA WOLF SWOOPS IN AND SAYS THE ONE WORD THAT SHE'S BEEN WAITING FOR ALL HER FUCKING LIFE, "MATE."

AND HE TAKES HER AWAY FROM HER FAMILY, AND SAYS THAT SHE IS TO STAY HERE WITH HIS FUCKING PACK, BECAUSE SHE IS HIS, AND NO ONE ELSE'S. AND HE MAKES HER STAY IN HIS ROOM AND WAIT FOR HIM TO COME BACK, BECAUSE SHE CAN'T ESCAPE. SHE CAN'T RUN, BECAUSE HER MATE COMMANDED HER TO STAY. AND SHE APPARENTLY CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT HIM.

AND IF HE EVER FINDS ANOTHER MAN LAY EYES ON HER AGAIN, YOU BETTER RUN FROM HIM AND SCREAM, BECAUSE HE 'BOUT TO TEAR THAT MOTHERFUCKER'S THROAT FROM HIS BODY.

You're probably thinking, 'oh my goodness, that's so sweet.'

No, fucking stop, fucking back up, and fucking sit down.

Honey, honey, that is fucking abuse.

I know this because I have seen it with my very own eyes. The dominant will tear the submissive away from society. The dominant will act possessive, controlling, and will be easily angered by any action caused by the submissive, when he or she works against the dominant's claim.

To the writers out there who have done this, how fucking dare you put this shit into your books. You claim this a love story, between two beings?

If you take the 'Mate Bond' away, you will actually see the abuse. The submissive will no longer want to stay, the being will want to find every way out. And the submissive can't, because well...the big, bad Alpha, doesn't want his little damsel in distress ever leaving him. The big, bad Alpha, ordered guards outside of the mate's room, so the mate can never escape.

And some of you, have written your own bits of mythology, on how mates were formed. As I quote, 'The witch cursed the man, splitting his soul in half, letting the other half of him drift away. He searched for years and years for the other half of his soul...'

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?

THE OTHER FUCKING HALF?

ONE MUST ASSUME WE ARE TALKING ABOUT EQUAL HALVES HERE.

YES, EQUAL. EQUAL. EQUAL. EQUAL.

EQUALITY FOR ALL, YOU MISOGYNISTIC PIECE OF SHIT. EQUALITY, THAT MEANS THE 'DOMINANT' AND THE 'SUBMISSIVE', ARE EQUALS. NOTICE HOW I PUT FUCKING QUOTATIONS AROUND THOSE WORDS NOW?

OR DO YOU NEED A FUCKING MAGNIFYING GLASS TO SEE THAT BULL?

Future writers of Wattpad, or current writers of Wattpad, I demand you to cut out this bullshit. #STOPDOMESTICVIOLENCEONWATTPAD2K15

Oh yeah, I went there.

--

I hope that wasn't in any fucking way useful. No, I'm fucking kidding myself-I hope you take this lesson seriously.

I mean FUCKING it, I want you as one of the estimated fifteen readers to realize this crap.

Thanks motherfuckers,

Zoe

(it's pronounced Zo, not Zoeyyyyy.)

To June,

HAHAHA. No i'm not copying you-I'm creating a version where I hopefully don't offend people due to my over-bluntness.

Thank you for your inspiration, as I have dedicated this to you. I hope you don't see me as an idiot, and I hope that you will also not see me as a stalker, as I have read nearly all of your books, and apologize if it seems like that horror film-the one with the crazy lady that's kidnapped this famous writer, and nearly kills him for killing one of her favorite characters...

Thanks, again.