The Monsters Within

Chapter I

Chapter I

The sound of my alarm woke me up at 6:30 A.M. on the spot. I groaned and sighed in exasperation.   Why did I have to wake up this morning?, I asked myself.  This was part of my daily routine after waking up in the morning.  Just, laying in bed after cutting my alarm off and thinking about all the times I would probably screw up today.  I turned my head to the left to view my "happy wall", filled with pictures of Casey and I, some of my friends and me, and a couple of pictures of my favorite bands and soccer teams.  Today, it failed to make me happy. 

Get up. Remember everyone needs you today, I tried to encourage myself, but ended up getting rather irritated.  Either way, I had to get up.  No matter how much I didn't want to. 

I slowly picked myself up out of bed, but I didn't let the covers slip off of me.  The breeze was slightly cold; it was expected though, since it was mid-October.  I reached over and shut my window.  Living in the middle of nowhere, it wasn't smart to leave your window open at night. 

But, I really didn't care if someone broke into my house and shot me dead.  It would suit me just fine, as long as they left my family out of it.  Night after night, nothing ever happened.  No matter how much I looked forward to that shot to the head. 

I threw the comforter off of me and onto my bed, revealing my white tank top and red soccer shorts.  Taking a few steps toward my door, I stepped in front of the tall mirror.  The girl in front of me made my stomach drop. 

Why are you so ugly? , I insulted myself.  This insult seemed like a compliment compared to others.  I squinted at her.  A disgusted look came upon my face, as I found her every flaw, all of her flaws- every single damn one. 

I don't know, I replied to the insult; this did nothing but encourage the remarks. 

You never know. You're so stupid, another remark is thrown my way.  I didn't deflect it, but I welcomed it with open arms.  It was true; I did find myself disgusting.  From my brown hair all the way down to my abnormal-shaped feet, there was nothing special about me. 

I'm not that bad, am I? , I asked myself, but I knew the answer. I'm fucking horrible. 

Ignoring the fact that I wanted to crawl back into bed and hide, I continued with my daily routine.  I pulled off the clothes I had slept in, leaving me topless with only my red and white striped panties on.  

I was aware of the fact that I was standing in front of my window, almost naked.  No one wanted to look at me naked anyways.  Other than Casey, she likes looking at me naked for some reason.  

I put on a black lace bra and a black v-neck on top of that.  After rummaging through my drawer, I finally found a light blue pair of skinny jeans that weren't totally disgusting and slipped them on quickly.  

I glanced at my phone to see what time it was. 6:45.  

Quickly, I made my bed and threw my dirty clothes in the hamper.  A clean room was a happy room.  Supposedly, a happy room is supposed to make a happy person, but it hasn't really worked yet. 

"Bella! Breakfast is ready!", I heard my mom call from the kitchen, right on time.  I slipped on a pair of socks, grabbed my phone and my soccer stuff and cut off the alarm, which now read 7:00 . 

Force a smile, I reminded myself before I walked into the kitchen, where my family and my food were waiting.  As I  dropped my stuff on bar, I could hear my little brother, Frankie, telling my mom that he wanted me to take him to school this morning.  He could've just asked me, little bastard, I complained in my mind, but then mentally cursed at myself for being such a bitch about my little brother.