It's Difficult || Larry & Ziam - Book Two

sixteen

"I need to go," Harry said, feeling sick to his stomach.

"Harry!" Niall called as Harry stood up and made his way out the door.

"No, I'll go," Louis told him, biting his lip. "Just... good job. I wouldn't have been able to do that."

Niall grimaced weakly, and Louis followed Harry all the way until the younger boy stopped and took a deep breath.

"H?" Louis asked softly, tentatively.

"I should have listened to you. You knew that I didn't want to know. You told me. I should've listened."

"Are you mad?"

Harry turned to face Louis, and he looked frustrated, but not angry. He looked more sad than angry, Louis found, and he felt so horrible for Harry.

"No," Harry murmured. "I'm not."

"Okay," Louis said, reaching out to place a hand on Harry's arm. "What are you feeling, then?"

"I just— why would he even... fuck, I can't even get it through my head. How could something like this happen?"

"He did exactly what I did, Harry. He took a chance and kissed someone he liked. That's the same exact thing I did with you."

"It's not the same! I was single! He knew that you weren't single, and he still did it anyway! How is that okay?"

"Just because he did what I did, it doesn't make it okay. I didn't mean it that way," Louis told him softly, trying to keep Harry's voice from raising further. "I wasn't defending him. I was just saying that you shouldn't be so mad at him. It was a while ago, and it's not like I kissed him back. I don't have feelings for him, and I never have." There was a brief period of silence in which Harry focused on a point that wasn't Louis while the latter tried to think of something else reassuring to say. "Do you see what I meant now, about not wanting to tell you?"

"Yeah," Harry said eventually. "I don't feel any better now. Actually, I feel worse, just like you said. And I'm trying to get it into my head that I shouldn't be mad at him, but fuck, it's so hard when he's my roommate and didn't tell me until now. I considered us close friends. You don't just go around kissing your close friends' boyfriends."

"Well, at least you know that I like you, and only you," Louis told him, trying to sound bright. "I really am sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I just didn't want to put a strain on your friendship with him. Let's face it — most of our free time is spent with each other, and when it's not, it's with Liam and Zayn or your family or something familiar. Even if it's just one more friend, it's making some kind of progress, right? Some kind of way to show that we didn't just ignore everyone else at Uni and act like we're the only two people on the planet?"

"How can you possibly be joking right now?" Harry asked incredulously, but Louis could see the beginnings of a smile on his face.

"I'm not," Louis answered truthfully. He wasn't trying to joke, anyway, maybe just lift the mood a little. "So, where do you stand with him?"

"I'm a little bit mad at him," Harry admitted. "But just a tiny little bit. It'll fade. And I'm disappointed, too, but I'll get over that, too. I guess... I'm okay. We're okay."

"Good. I'm glad." Louis pulled Harry off of the bench he was sitting on and pulled him into an embrace. "Two years ago, if you would have told me that something like this was going to happen, I probably would have punched you."

Harry laughed. He wasn't even in the mood to laugh, but Louis just had that effect, he supposed. "Me, too. I love you."

"I love you, too."

/ / / \ \ \

"Nineteen! Holy shit, you're getting old!"

"Fuck you," Louis laughed. "Nineteen is not old."

"It kind of is," Harry said, chuckling a little. "In America, you could go buy cigarettes."

Louis looked at him with an absolutely bewildered look. "Now why the fuck would I go to America to buy cigarettes?"

"I don't know, but if you bought them anywhere and smoked them, I wouldn't be kissing you anymore."

Louis rolled his eyes. "Does anybody else want to change the subject, so that I can be spared of Harry's horrible sense of humor?"

"Hey!" Harry said, but he wasn't anywhere near offended. They were at a different restaurant this time, one of the very few that were open on Christmas Eve. They weren't going to have any classes for a while so that people could go visit their families and whatever, so they didn't have to worry about classes and work. Niall had taken a flight to Ireland to spend Christmas with his family, and Harry forgave him a while ago, so they were fine as it was. Now it was just the four of them.

"Do we have to pay for your meal, since it's your birthday?" Liam teased.

Louis rolled his eyes at that as well. "I hate all of you. I don't care who pays. I'll pay, if it's that big of a deal."

"No, not on your birthday," Harry protested. "I can pay for yours. I don't know about you guys, though." He gestured to Liam and Zayn.

Liam rolled his eyes, and Harry laughed. The three of them were so similar — it was so easy to tell that they'd been friends for so long. "I got it. As long as Louis has a good time on his birthday, right?"

"Right!" Louis said, loudly, causing the rest of them to laugh equally as loudly. It was actually really fun.