Not Love, But Comfort

Part 5

When you woke up, you felt relieved. All the emotions that you seemed to have bottled in were all released in a stream of tears and drops of blood. While you almost forgot what happened last night, the new cuts on your arm served as a reminder. You remembered. The tension. The argument. Your father leaving. You harming yourself. You lying to Hoseok. Overwhelmed with guilt, somehow it felt like you dragged Hoseok into your life and right into your problems. But you had to keep going or else he would suspect something was going on. Luckily fall was ending, and winter was starting. This meant that it was completely natural to wear long sleeves for a long time out in public without drawing any suspicion. Although the public may think you're wearing them to keep warm, it's to prevent from others knowing the truth.

You were becoming a shell of who you once were. Days would pass, and everything felt like a blur. You spent your winter break sleeping the days away. You no longer talked to anyone outside your house, let alone outside your room. Your room became your sanctuary; the only safe place where you knew you could block everything from the outside. Although you were struggling with these emotions before thanksgiving, your life seemed much better then, even if it was slowly slipping away, at least you still cared.

At this point, your meals decreased from three times a day to only one. The only thing you ate was an apple, a chocolate bar, and instant ramen. With your mother working late nights, your father in and out of the house, and your sister now moved out, there was no one to watch over you. Your nights became days, and your days became nights. There was no sleeping during the nights, since all that accompanied them were nightmares. Luckily for you, there was one person who liked staying up and didn't mind texting so late into the night.

Hoseok: So, how's the break going?

Y/N: Alright. Just a little boring sometimes.

Hoseok: Then why don't you go out and do something?

Y/N: Because i'm too lazy and it's late :P

You said that you were lazy to seem normal. But you knew the real reason. It was too difficult to get out of your house. It was already hard enough to get out of bed.

Hoseok: Oh..that's right hehehe...then get off your lazy butt and do something tomorrow. Why don't you hang out with me?

Y/N: Nah..It'll be cold.

Hoseok: Then put on a warm sweater.

You tried throwing out every excuse that you had, but Hoseok was having none of it. You were going to have to suck it up and leave the comfort of your house tomorrow.

Hoseok: How about we meet at the park?

Y/N: ok.

When tomorrow became today, you decided to put on the thickest tights you had, a long sleeve, and the warmest sweater you had. Lucky for you the sweater was long in length, so if you wanted to cover legs from the winter winds, you can easily do so by wrapping your sweater tightly. You put on a pair of your favorite pairs of converse, and kept your hair down. Even though you didn't want to put on makeup, you thought that it might make you feel a little better. So you decided to put on a little bit of foundation, mascara, and eyeliner.

By the time you got to the park, it was cold and your hands were freezing. You saw Hoseok swinging to his heart's content. The sight of him made your heart race and swell. There was nothing that this boy couldn't find joy in. With a smile on your face, you decided to run over there and try and scare him.

"BOO!"

"WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Hoseok flew off the swing and landed on the floor.