Can't Help It

6.

Quinn

I start to walk across the log.
This is terrifying.
But I trust Awsten.

I grab his extended hand.
And place one foot on the log.
I don't like this.
I grab his other hand.
I take another shaky step.

And another.

And another.

And another.

And then I feel it.

I slip.

I hear Awsten yell my name.

I still have a tight grip on him.
I still have one foot on the log.
Barely on it.

Thank fuck.

I feel Awsten pull me up.

"You good?"

I'm still gripping onto him tightly.

"I should be asking you the same thing."

"A bit shaken. Are you okay?"

I hug him.

"I'm taking that as a no."

I have my head on his chest.
His breathing is heavy.
He sounds like he just ran a marathon.

That was terrifying.

"You wanna continue?"

I gently shake my head no.

"Okay."

I feel Awsten push me away.

"Just take bigger steps."

I turn around.

One step.

Two step.

Three.

I'm back on flat ground.

I watch Awsten come back.

His steps are significantly bigger than mine.
He's also significantly taller.
Makes sense.

He only takes two very careful steps.
I hug him again.
That scared both of us.
A lot.

I feel Awsten push me away gently again.
He sits down.
And drags me down with him.
He puts an arm around me.
We're close to the rivers edge.
I rest my head on Awstens shoulder.
He's really warm.
I shuffle closer to him.

I could stay like this for a while.

But all good things can't last forever.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Awsten

I feel heated.
That scared me.

I feel Quinn shuffle closer to me.
Probably for warmth.
It's freezing.
Although i'm not bothered.

It would be nice to stay like this.

But society exists.
Society wouldn't let us be like this for long.

Or at least in this town anyway.

Although in two and a half months.
We're done with school.
Gotten the skills we need or want.
We can leave this wretched place.
Can finally be free.

Free from stress.
Free from abuse.

Just...
Free.

"Awsten."

Quinn breaks the silence.

"Hm?"

"I wanna say something."

Quinn looks up at me.

"What is it?"

"I don't want to ruin anything or make this awkward or anything."

I look at Quinn puzzled.

"Well, I uh..."

"Just blurt it out."

"I really like you."

I smile.

"Well, Quinn."

"Yes?"

"I really like you too."

Quinn smiles.

This makes me happy.

Wanting someone.
And them wanting you back.
I haven't had that in a long time.
I didn't think I would ever again.

But here I am.
With someone.
That wants me.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Quinn

I let out a deep breathe.
I expected a different turnout.
I expected rejection.
I expected pain.

But instead I got what I wanted.
I got acceptation.
I got happiness.
I got love.

Something I haven't had in a long time.
Something I've been looking for.
Something I've been longing for.

It's been so long.