Dangerously Discontent

Pain in the Mirror

I've been sitting I staring blankly in the blue sky,it's clear subtle atmosphere made me feel a bit calm on my inside. It's been a week here,a long and tested week.

I help aunt in the kitchen for most hours of the day and when I'm compelled to leave it,I'm stuck with Mawra and Mehreen. Mehreen is trying to bind with me but I resist her. I'm sorry but I can no longer be with her and be alright.

All the girls,including Masirah is upset that I rather spend times with Aabish than with the sisters. I'm being selfish and I'm not guilty,this is my best I can do.

Aabish is also busy,he keeps working throughout the whole town for preparations. Tomorrow is the wedding, Nikah after Dhur. Sabr,Sabr,Sabr.....I chanted this inside,I wasn't at all happy,nor was I planning to ever be happy about this. I stubbornly believe that it has no good in it and this should not happen. If I had to hope till my death to have Burhan,I would. I would love no one else but him.

Burhan will arrive today with his family by evening. He will stay in a rented house opposite to my Aunt's.

I don't want to see him before this wedding. I'll get weak and I will ruin everything, I'm not sane these days. I have ongoing plans to see this wedding fail. I hope to not see them married,however I've turned this shallow and evil inside and still I don't regret it a bit.

I caught Aabish coming from his room,he phone rang,he declined the call and spoke to me "what?"

"Nothing are you going somewhere?" I said in a hurry.

"No, do you--" his phone interrupted again. He declined and walked away.

With no excuse or choice left I was disposed to Mehreen's room where all my sadness revives.

"Noor, will you not set anything ?" Mehreen asked,

They were packing gifts and setting her dresses and arranging her bouquet for rehearsal. I don't want to take part in any of it. But I was expected to seem excited and happy so I did it with all my nerves.

A few minuted later,Mawra and the girls crowded the front window. "Burhan is going to arrive any minute Mehreen,want to take a look?" She cried in excitement.

Oh lord. I vented out to the passage and caught Aabish again.
Save me Aabish I pleaded inside,why is he so busy and so happy!!

"Aabish!" I called in a broken voice.

"Noorrr, again here. Is Mawra that boring!?" He hissed.

I was uneasy inside and was dying to be save but I couldn't tell him all that I wanted him to understand this on his own. His phone rang again. He declined.

"Who's that?" I asked.

"My friend is leaving for Brooklyn and he wants me to meet him. I can't go because I don't have any good excuse and Dad is watching the gates" he sadly rather disappointed.

"I wanna go to the market!" I said in a outburst of joy,I got an excuse to leave.

He looked at me discreetly.

"You can meet your friend and I'll get my earrings from the store and then your work would be done and mine would be done too,all in one shot!" I said too fast instantly to convince.

He hesitated "do you really want earrings or--"

"of course !! Don't I look worried Aabish!" I slammed him and thus my work was done. I went to the room,pushed my earrings of the outfit inside a hidden pocket from my bag and pulled out some money and took my mum's permission.
She first had to say no," but I remember you bought earrings"