For the love of our friendship- (Nash Grier / Cameron Dallas)

Chapter 8

Once they left I quickly took a shower and felt refreshed. My grandma visited and was hanging out with us. My mom got brought breakfast which she didn't eat but I munched on. I soon got a text from Cameron while brushing my semi wet hair.

From:Cam ham

1st period sucks without you

To:Cam ham

AWEEE it's okay you can still text me

Its only been about 1 an 1/2 hours since they came to have breakfast with me, which meant alot to me.

"Your turn." my mom says to me.We were playing cards in between her contractions to pass the time.I really like spending this time with my mom is kinda fun.But I'm don't know what I'm gonna do when she's in worse pain because it's really hard for me to see her like that.

We played for another 1/2 an hour but it started getting hard. I put away the cards and cleaned up the room and ended my conversation with Cameron telling him I was leaving my phone on the charger. Which I did. I went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror.

I saw a girl who was about to meet her new baby sister. A girl who's father comes home in a month. A girl with long light brown hair that rests past her shoulders.A girl with hazel eyes and good grades. A girl who has the bestest friends she could've ever asked for. A girl who thinks her life is going pretty good.

But then, I don't know why; she sees flaws. She sees the small imperfections nobody would notice if she didn't point out other wise. She sees the slight discoloration of her bare face. This girl I see in the mirror isn't confident in her own body.She doesn't think she's as beautiful as people may say. She doesn't like her thighs, arms, neck, or lack of butt or boobs. She sees in the mirror a small belly, that isn't flat like her standards. She wishes to change things, that one day someone will love.

I don't want to be that girl who sees her flaws the way I do. I want a flat stomach and a perfect body is that too much to ask?But I have everything else, I could ever want really. A happy family who is about to grow one more, a good education and the best environment around me. People who are always there when I need them.I can always work to change a few things but most things will stay the same. I need to learn to accept myself for who I am and nothing else.

Most times when I look in the mirror all I see is plain self. But other times I see all this. I look down from the mirror and back up again and see if anything changed.

Now I see a girl who has a few tears falling down her cheeks. That girl who suddenly feels insecure thinking of the comments she sees on vine,twitter and instagram.

I wipe my cheeks and try to look normal. I think of the good things that I have in my life and try once again to brush off the bad like I've done a few times before. I leave the bathroom and return to my seat on the couch.

-

"I can't do this I really don't think I can do this." I say over and over on the phone with ally during her lunch. My mom was progressing fast and was in alot of pain, it gave me anxiety.

"Hailey, please relax. Just think how long you've been looking forward to this." ally says through the phone.

"I can't ally! So many things can go wrong! What if I -" I get cut off by ally.

"Hailey no what ifs, everything is fine, but I have to go. Text me!" she says.

"Bye.."

By now I'm walking around the hospital aimlessly while frantically talking on the phone. I get back to the baby delivery floor and kinda have a breakdown. I wasn't really expecting it since I was calm before. I put my head in my hands and my knees to my chest as I sit down.