After

Chapter five

I wake up covered in sweat. I sit up. My heart beats fast and adrenaline courses through my vines. I look around me only to see darkness. My throat burns, like I had been screaming really loud. I feel a hand gripping my wrist. I swing my fist, only to feel someone grabbing it, before I can actually hit the intruder. The light flicks on and slowly I become aware of my surroundings.

Matthew is holding my wrist and fist, while Kayden walks out the bathroom with a damp cloth in his hand. They're both talking to me, but the words don't reach me yet. I see my alarm clock behind Matthew. It's only three am in the morning. I don't have to get up in another three hours. I stare at my wall trying to calm my heart. My dream rushes back to me and I hear the shot as if it's real. My parents both look in to nothing, while a man with a hockey mask points the gun to my head. My lungs don't want to fill themselves with air anymore and something heavy seems to press on my chest. I feel my brother shake my shoulder and I snap back in reality for a second.

Tears fill my eyes. Matthew and Kayden whisper endearments to me. I calm down and start my mental list: 1. I am Allison Rebecca Katherine Taylor. 2. I am seventeen years old. 3. It's over and I'm safe. I relax my muscles and Matthew lets my arms go. My brother gives me a tight hug and gives me a look filled with worry. "Are you alright?" "I am fine. You can go back to sleep." Matthew and my brother seem to have a silent conversation until Matthew sighs. "Let's have some tea in the kitchen." I roll out my bed and walk to the kitchen with them. Matthew boils some water and makes three cups of tea. He gives both me and Kayden a cup before he sits down with his own cup. "Someone, please start explaining shit. You" He points at me. "were screaming bloody murder. Why? And does that mean you can talk? And why don't you" He now gives my brother a gazing stare. "seem surprised about what happened." My brother watches me, watches how I react to Matthew's words. "You can talk." I sign to him. Kayden takes a deep breath.

"Three years ago my parents died, but I've told you that already. I didn't tell you that they were held hostage at the local mal. The psycho who held them, killed them when the police had given in to whatever he demanded. Allison was with my parents at the mal. They were shot in front of her. She sat behind my father during the hostage situation. The psycho pointed the gun at her, but before he could shoot, Allison had grabbed my father's gun. She shot him once in the head. The guy was dead immediately. At least this is what roughly happened according to the police report. After the event Allison stopped speaking. Something inside her head makes it impossible for her to speak. There are two occasions when sound escapes her lips. Her nightmares, due to a severe case of PTSD, is one of them." Kayden tells Matthew clinical without any passion. It's the only way we can talk about our parents death. Matthew looks at me. My face is void of any emotion. The details around the death of my parents are not something I have ever opened up about. I was seeing a therapist, but my aunt didn't let me go to her as soon as she had officially custody of me. Instead, she banked the checks for the therapist to buy booze and other not soo legal stuff. Matthew tries to get a feeling of my emotional state by reading my body language, but he looks away with a frown, he's got nothing. He slowly nods when he starts processing the information.

"I have one other thing I would like you to explain. Jackson flipped Saturday about Allison and you were so angry on graduation day when you got that phone call to pick up your sister. What the hell is that about?" Well double hockey sticks that is definitely not the conversation I want to hold at 3 am in the morning, especially because Kayden hasn't had the full scoop on that story himself. "Apparently, my dear aunt physically abused my little sister. Marc, the old second in command of my dad, caught her red handed when he was looking for Lyss, because she didn't show up for training. He called me immediately after the event, reporting to me what happened. He also told me that Lyss tried to convince him not to call..." The last sentence is said with a glare towards me. "When Jackson said something to Lyss, she behaved like she thought Jackson was going to hurt her. That was why Jackson was so mad Saturday. The details of the story I don't know. Yet." I'm certainly going to avoid that conversation as long as possible in the hope that he will forget about it. Matthew lets the words my brother spoke sink in. His face gets the expression of rage. He tries to control himself to no avail. He stands up and hits the wall. You can see a dent in the wall when he removes his fist. He slowly lets his breath escape, before facing my brother and me.

"I am so sorry for what happened to you. What you had to do in order to survive. Know that I won't ever hurt you, nor one of the other guys. If you ever need any help, you can always come to me, no matter what." He spokes the words softly and gently. It is the completely opposite of the anger he just had shown. "Moreover, I think it might be best, Kayden, to enlighten the others of your sister's past, with her consent of course. I mean we can be a scary bunch and we wouldn't want to trigger a panic attack or anything." I nod seeing the reason in his words, but still not feeling comfortable with telling the others. Kayden puts his arm around me. "It will all be alright, little sis. Maybe the guys can help." I put my head against his shoulder and shoving my doubts away. I won't hold my brother back. If he thinks this is the right thing to do, it's going to go like this. "Alright. You should get some sleep. Matthew, you should go back to bed as well." "You will be okay?" "I'll be fine" ... someday I hope. I wasn't planning on going back to bed, anyway. While Matthew and Kayden disappear into their bedrooms, I pick up a book and wait until it's time to prepare for school.