After

Chapter seven

I close my eyes to shut out the world and start walking along the walls. I trace them with my hand, counting the steps I need to cross the room. After I've paced out the room I can move somewhat freely in it without worrying about falling over something, while keeping my eyes closed. The piano is exactly five steps in a forty degree angle from the entrance. On the left wall there were several guitars. There were actually quite some instruments in the classroom. After I know the room by touch I feel relaxed and I am lost in my own world. I pick a guitar and after attuning the guitar with the piano, I start to fiddle with it. Moving from pop songs to rock to classics to flamenco. I practice my scales and chords. I finish with improvising, thinking of my mom. The music gets relaxing and flowing. She was a songwriter. She wasn't a popstar or at least she stopped being one when she was pregnant of Kayden. Not that she ever regretted her decision. As a songwriter my mom was extremely in demand in the music industry. However, her family always came first and she had always put us before her work. She had kept herself out of the papers and magazines to give my brother and me an as normal possible live, since our dad was in the navy. My brother and I both grew up with music surrounding us. As Kayden was the more stereotype, loud army brat his preference in music weren't really unexpected. He could play guitar, but preferred the drums or his electric guitar. He could also rap pretty well. Our mom also "forced" him to learn to play the piano and learn some classical music. And I really do mean "forced" with the quotes, because Kayden really likes classical music, I guess we're siblings after all, however classical music is not "manly", so he hides it from his friends. My mom introduced me to the guitar and piano as well. I also learned to play the violin. I inherited my mother's love for composing and would help her write songs.

After my parents died, I couldn't touch an instrument without throwing up. It was my upbringing that forced me to pick up the instruments. Both my parents believed in maintaining your skills. My mom brought my father's motto into everything in our lives. Not making music felt as betraying my parents and the guilt forced me to get over the grieve. Music always had been my way to deal with emotion, so it was to great relief of my brother (and myself) when I started composing again. It helped me dealing with everything that happened and it prevented uncontrollable emotional outbursts, like going into a blind rage.

I put the guitar back against the wall, feeling relaxed. I take a deep breath before picking up my bag. With confident strides I find the door and I step in the hallway again. I open my eyes, letting the real world enter.

The hour hasn't finished yet and the halls are empty. I use the emptiness to look around the school and learn its lay-out. I pass the administration's office and wave to Ms. O'Neill. She kindly waves back. The second floor, I discover, is completely dedicated to the school's library. It is surprisingly big, as in it is huge. I start walking through the stacks of books. It seems they do also have fiction books. There is a part of the library filled with computers as well. The library supervisor seems to take her job seriously, since there is total silence here. I feel like I have found an additional home here. Guess I know where I am having lunch.

I manage to avoid the popular clique. I actually manage to avoid any form of human interaction not counting giving notes to the teachers about my "state". However, my peace and quiet ends when the last bell rings. Apparently, the captain of the soccer team is very clumsy and by accident managed to pour some kind of drink all over me, when I was standing in front of my locker. More shocking news: It was my fault and I owe the guy a new drink. Soaked with some kind of fizzy drink, I walk to the bathroom. Moira wasn't really on my side today. Queen B and her minions were occupying the sanitary facilities. An evil grin spreads on Queen B's face as she sees me. "Look what the cat dragged in." Her minions start to laugh that annoying high laugh that cheerleaders in films also have. Queen B walks up to me. "Since it's your first day, I'll give you a warning: Stay away from Raphael di Angelo. He-Is-Mine. Do you understand?" I give her a nod, pressing myself in a corner. She grabs my shirt and pulls me closer. I am sure she is going to hit me. "I said: Do you understand?" I nod again. "Are you mute or something?" She asks/screams/yells angrily, trying to intimidate me. I nod my head for the third time and try to make myself invisible. "You are a mute? Seriously?" I slowly lift my head up and down. She gives a short laugh. She starts to laugh longer and harder. When she's done, she wipes away some tears. "The nerdy, pathetic, ugly and apparently mute girl thinks she could have someone as Raph. Isn't it hilarious?" She starts laughing herself. Then she doesn't spare me a second glance. The cheerleaders all start chatting among themselves and are putting away their make-up. When she and her minions make their exit, they roughly push me against the wall. I feel the stone scrape my barely healed injuries. Joy. I look in the mirror. I sigh. My shirt is ruined and my hair sticks together because of the jock's drink. I try to wash the juice out of my hair, but my efforts don't seem to have any effect. I pull of my shirt and try to clean it. Unfortunately, that's a lost cause as well. So with only a tank top on I walk out of the bathroom. Nobody is in the hall anymore. Guess that is the first good thing to happen today. I make my way to the library. I work on the projects for this semester for about an hour, until my brother is coming to pick me up. When I go to the entrance I pass the music rooms and I hear a band play. Badly I have to add. I look at my watch and see that I have to hurry. I shrug off the sound of music and start running towards my brother's car.