Forever yours, Never mine

Chapter Eleven

 My whole world felt like it was crashing down around me. I walked home from the hospital and I took a warm shower. I couldn't even focus on what I was doing, I ended up cutting my legs several times. I was trying so hard to stop crying but it wasn't working very well.
I was tossing and turning all night, so much for trying to sleep. Tears would run down my face, and by daylight my pillow was soaking wet. I went to the bathroom to put my makeup on, and I was crying too hard to even get my makeup even, so I took it all off. I threw on some random pants and my work shirt .
The entire way to work I was just bawling. I knew I had to pull myself together before I got to work. I didn't want any drama, or anyone asking what was wrong. Talking about it would make it so much worse. Not even my aunt knew. I don't think she was home when I came home last night or this morning.
I made it to work and it was just completely impossible to hold my tears in. My boss saw me, and so did the customers. I knew they were all talking about me, but I didn't care. I was way too emotional for anything right now. My boss pulled me aside and told me I could have the next couple of days off. I basically told her I needed it, but I also needed the money. I had to explain the situation to her, but she understood. She told me I'd still get credit for the next couple days.
I practically ran to the hospital, not even going into how I was too inpatient to wait for the elevator, and when it got down to me, there were a ton of people on it, and I was crying. I didn't want anyone asking why I was crying, or if I was okay. I was okay, but I didn't know if Kellin was. Needless to say, I didn't get on the elevator. I ran up the stairs and up to the fifth floor, and then to Kellin's room.
Kellin was laying on the bed, with his eyes closed. He was laying on his side, and he had several needles stuck in his arms and hands. I felt so bad for him. I just wanted to grab him, and hold him. I couldn't, but he's my everything. It was just so hard.
All of a sudden, the heart monitor started going crazy. I saw the line evening out, and then becoming completely straight. I started screaming and yelling for a doctor, or a nurse, anyone. I ran out into the hallway and was begging someone to help us. A whole army of doctors and nurses rushed into the room and rushed him out of the room. I don't know where they took him, but I just remember stopping the stretcher they put him on, and I kissed his lips one more time, and whispered ' I love you, ' in his ear.
I waited in the waiting room, crying, for what seemed like ages. Every once in a while I'd check the time on the clock on the wall, hours went by. I hadn't heard anything from any doctors or anything. Patients came in and left. Finally a doctor opened the waiting room door and walked over to me.
" Olivia.. there's something we need to tell you. "
" What is it? Is he okay!? "
" That's the thing ... "