Return to Me

Fifteen

Sometimes we bury deep secrets and feelings inside ourselves with every intention of keeping it here. Forgotten. Most times our pasts come back to haunt us and end up opening up old wounds. Digging up everything you've buried so deep within yourself that the thought of them coming to the surface again, terrifies you. That's what I am. Terrified.

After leaving the apartment building, I ended up giving the cab driver the address to Emily's hotel. It was about 25 minutes away, so it gave me some time to wipe away my stupid tears and clear my cloudy and confusing thoughts. My lips were tingling for a while after Jack kissed me. I felt that spark, but I chose to ignore it because I can't get involved with him again. I swore I wouldn't, otherwise there'd be consequences. So when I showed up at Emily's hotel room door, my eyes puffy and red, she let me in and pulled everything that has just happened out of me.

"Maybe you should end things with Sam."

"But I love him." I reply taking a sip of coffee.

"I'm sure you do, but with all this going on with Jack and how jumbled your thoughts are, I think you need to take some time alone and figure things out."

I nod, maybe she's right. "But I promised Jack I'd be there for him if he needs me."

Emily pats my hand, giving me a comforting smile. "Andrew and I can do that while we're still in town. You just take care of yourself."

I nod again and suddenly notice my head is throbbing. All this crying has given me such a headache. I get up from the chair I'm sitting in and go for my purse. I know I have some ibuprofen in here somewhere. Where is it? I keep digging and I come across the bottle of pills Dr. Moore prescribed me for my head. The bottle says only to take one pill for unbearable headaches. And I can't seem to find my ibuprofen. My head does hurt a lot. Do I need this? I don't give myself time to think about it and shove the bottle back inside my purse.

"Hey, Emily, do you have any ibuprofen on you? I can find mine," I turn to my friend and she's already digging through her purse until she finds the little white bottle. She hands me two tablets and I wash them down with some water.

Emily and I end up talking for another hour or so before I decide it's time to leave and go find Sam. Besides, I have a bone to pick with him anyway. Now I have more than one reason to go to his office at 11 am. I say goodbye to my friend outside the taxi and she tells me to call her later. Good. Because I'm probably going to need it.

When the taxi pulls up to the curb in front of the publishing building, I take a deep breath before exiting. The building is just as I remember: clean, friendly and busy. I begin to miss it until I remember all the stress I was under when working here. A woman at the front desk whom I don't recognize, greets me. Smiling back, I give her a curt nod as I pass her and head for the elevators. Sam told me a few weeks ago that he was promoted on the tenth floor and now has his own office and everything. He was so excited and we did quite a bit of celebrating that night.

The elevator finally reaches the tenth floor, I step off and take a look around. Which way to go? I've never been to his office yet, but my gut tells me to turn right. Another secretary greets me, looking up from the computer screen.

"Hello. May I help you?" she asks kindly.

"Hi, I'm looking for Sam Anderson."

"Well you found his office." she chuckles sweetly. Well, that wasn't too hard to find. "Is Mr. Anderson expecting you?"

I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. "Um, no, but I'm his girlfriend...I wanted to surprise him." I say and the woman nods and picks up her phone to call someone. She talks for a few moments to the person, I'm hoping is Sam, on the other end before hanging up.