Maxon's Choice Rewritten

Chapter 9

America's POV

     I was walking to Maxon's study to go bug him for the third time this week. He doesn't mind because every time I go he says he wants me there and he's bored so I figured I'd go again today.   As I was walking toward his office I spotted him  I heard him talking to his father in a corner quietly.

"I'm still giving America time to warm up to me until I propose father I don't want to rush her into making a decision." Maxon says and his father shakes his head. Maxon wants to propose? I don't know if I should feel happy or well... Before I got to mixed in my thoughts his father speaks,

"We had a deal if you aren't engaged to America in the next two weeks I won't hand over the crown until I see an heir so I suggest you get your act together." Maxons father says then walks into his office. Then Maxon turns and he sees me. I know he knows I heard the conversation he just had and he doesn't say anything to say it wasn't what I thought it was or anything. Which means it was true, all of it. I walk away silently shaking my head.

"America." Maxon calls behind me and gently tugs my elbow to get me to turn around. I move it out of his hold harshly.

"Don't. Have you been doing this the whole time? Using me? Is this what you've wanted? To use me the get the crown?" I can't believe him. It's so shallow of him to use me for his own power. I don't even want to hear what he has to say right now because I'm so clouded in my thoughts I continue to walk away. I hear yet again footsteps rushing toward me and I turn around and he stops running.

 "America I know it seems bad, I do, but you have to understand I wanted you before my father offered the deal, before you came to the palace, the moment I heard your name I knew I had to have you back. Then he propose the deal and I said yes. America please believe me. I love you." He says holding my hands. Trying to get a reaction out of me.

I don't know what to think. I don't know what to say, I'm so lost in everything I can't think. I can't breathe. I don't know wether it's another game or not. I can't tell anymore.

"I need time." I whisper and he nods his head.

"Yes we don't have to rush. We can go on more dates and," he starts but I interrupt him.

"I need time to think away from you." When I finish I see a really broken look on his face. I really don't know what to think so I can't really care right now.

"Oh okay. But America I want you to know that I love you and this wasn't an act and I fell in love with you completely over again with you and I don't want to imagine how to live life again without you, so please think and take your time but don't leave." He pleads. I vaguely remember nodding and I leave him in the hallway.

     When I make it to my room, I sob so much I have to hold the wall for support. I love Maxon I do, so much, but I don't know if I should believe him when he says he wasn't using me. I don't know what to do. I'm shaking and I haven't shaken in months. I just don't know anymore. These past months he's been so kind and when I told him I loves him he said he loved me too, but I don't know if it was an act. I'm shaking, I'm tired and I'm mad. Eventaully Lucy comes in I ask her for something I haven't wanted in a long time,

"Lucy can you get me something to drink, with alcohol preferably vodka. It just sounds nice." I ask Lucy, she looks at me hesitant but nods her head and walks out of the room while Anne and Mary help clean me up with a wet rag I knew my face was red from me crying, but they didn't ask questions. Lucy comes back just in time.

"You guys can go, I'll be going to dinner so can you guys come and help me get ready when it's time?" They nod and excuse themselves. Lucy comes up to me.

"Here's what you asked for and I got you another bottle since I know you're really upset I figured it'd help." She says handing me the two big bottles of vodka. I grab them and nod. She excuses herself quietly, and I open one bottle and practically jug it. My hands stop shaking and I feel absolute peace again. Once the bottles empty, and it's a pretty big bottle, I go on to the second and then my maids come in again.

"It's time to get ready for dinner." Anne says but when she realizes I can barely walk in a straight line she stops.

"Or we could just say that you got the stomach flu that's going around and I'm sure they won't mind if you miss out, I'll just bring dinner up here." She says almost out the door but I stop her.

"No it's fine I want to go to dinner." I tell Anne and she sighs, lifts me up, gets me a glass of water and then she gets me ready and in a dress. When I'm all set and I'm sober enough to walk Anne tells the guard outside my door to walk me down to the great room. He's kind I guess he doesn't know I've been drinking so I just keep a chill. Whatever that means. He leaves me in the great room entrance and I stumble to my seat. 

     I try to eat but the fork just wouldn't grab the food. I can see at the corner of my eye Maxon trying to get my attention and when I look up at him he looks at me like he thinks something's wrong with me. I eventually give up when the fork slips from my fingers and excuse myself. I think. I make it out of the great room and then... wait what's a great room. It's not that great. I hear someone calling America. The person turns me around and I turn because one I have no strength and that's all I can count to right now.

"America are you okay?" Maxon asks trying to get me to look at him. I laugh.

"America like the country?" I laugh. It makes no sense. Maxon sighs. 

"Cmon lets go up to your room, you need to rest." He says taking my hand guiding me, but I stumble and can barely walk so he suddenly lifts me up bridal style and walks.

 "No don't take me to my room." I say lifting one of my legs in the air as he carries me. He continues walking me. I started confessing things I felt but to Dumb to say out loud when I'm sober.

"I missed you. I missed you a lot. When you chose Kriss I drank, a lot I was addicted and and and, and I  I couldn't stop ever because I never ever in my life wanted to try, but you make me want to try. It scares me. I love you so much I can't imagine my life without you." I tell him. And I poke his cheek and say something I don't remember.

Maxon opens my door and sets me on the bed and looks me in the eyes, taking my hands.

"I missed you so much America you have no idea, but you need to learn I'm not going anywhere and I want this to work, I love you and even though I know you're upset just know I'm here waiting and I'm not going to leave you anytime soon. Don't drink anymore I'm here now for good." Maxon says kissing my cheek and he grabs the half bottle of vodka on my nightstand and takes it with him so I won't drink it. 

I try to think about what he said but my eyelids close and I'm out.

Maxon's POV

"Don't let her leave this room until morning, and don't let her have any access to alcohol of any form and inform the maids of this as well." I tell a guard outside America's door.

Oh boy. I'm so upset with myself. I should've told America about my father I should have told America everything because now I might lose her because she thought I was using her. I really love her and I can't imagine my life without her, I screwed up once and now I screwed up again. Great Maxon just great. 

I can't believe she used to drink. If she drank like she did tonight I can't imagine how she's here today. In a way it's all my fault. Or actually it is. I missed her so much when I married kriss I spent almost no time with her and I barely left my office. I'm trying to go to bed but I can't sleep. I've gotten so used to sleeping next to America I can't sleep without her. Eventaully my eyes get droopy and close.