Merlin Drabbles

Useless Or Useful

"Idiot!"
"Fool!"
"Clumsy!"
"Weak!"
"Stupid!"
"Coward!"

The words danced in Merlins head as he and Gaius at in an uncomfortable silence. He could hear Gaius make a joke but he just didn't have the emotional energy to laugh or even smile.

"Alright, Merlin. What is wrong?" Gaius asked putting his spoon.

"I'm just so sick of it." Merlin said before he could even register the thought.

"Sick of what?"

"Everything. I just... you couldn't understand."  Merlin started to get up when Gaius stopped him by grabbing his arm causing Merlin to turn to him.

"I think you'll find that I am one of the smartest people in Camelot. I think I'll understand." Gaius said just above a whisper.

"That's the thing." Merlin said suddenly angry. "You get to be the smartest person in the room. I don't."

Gaius was confused. Was Merlin mad at him because he is smarter than him?

"I know that I am not smarter than you. But I'm definitely smarter than many people in Camelot. Do you know what its like to have to be the dumbest person in the room when really your one of the smartest if not the smartest! Do you know what its like to have to play clumsy when you are agile, swift? Do you know what it's like to have to play this WEAK LITTLE SERVANT WHEN YOU CAN DESTROY A WHOLE ARMY WITH A THOUGHT?! OR HOW ABOUT BEING CALLED A COWARD WHEN YOU HAVE FACED MORE DANGERS AND SEEN MORE EVIL IN THIS WORLD THAN ANY OF THE KNIGHTS COMBINED!" Merlin screamed. He took a moment to calm himself down.

"I'm so sick of being called an Idiot. Clumsy. Weak. A Fool! A Coward. When I'm so much more than that." Merlin's voice finally cracked and a tear ran down his face.

"They all think I'm useless. And it hurts. So much." Merlin whispered. Gaius could hear the hurt in his voice. Gaius walked up to Merlin and gave him a hug.

"You are so useful to me." Merlin started sobbing.

Arthur, who had been looking for Merlin, and heard it all was shocked. Is that what he thinks we thought of him? A while army with a thought? More evil in this world than the knights combined?

The next morning when Merlin walked into the kings chambers to wake him up he was met to all of the king, who was already dressed, the knights, all five of them, and the queen. All staring at him.

"What do you think I did this time?" Merlin said with a laugh.

"Merlin. I heard you talking to Gaius last night." Arthur said taking a step forward. Merlin had to stop himself from taking a step back.

"Merlin you have to know that's not what any of us think of you." Elyan said taking a step to stand next to Arthur.

"Your my best mate, I know how smart you are. Your probably the smartest for the seven of us." Gwaine added.

"I've said it before Merlin and I will say it again, your the bravest of us all. You have gone into battle after battle with any training, or armor. That's bravery in my book." Lancelot said smiling at Merlin.

"Merlin I have known you longer than anyone in this room. I know how kind and courageous you are. No matter how slime the chances are you have do more than your best to do the right thing. And if it weren't for you, I would have never ended up here." Gwen stated standing next to her husband.

"Lancelot is right. You have gone into battles that some of the most trained knights have been afraid to go into. Never showing any doubt or fear. You were with us when we fought against Morgana when she first betrayed us. You fought with us the second time and showed Arthur that he is the king we need. Hell, you rode off with me and Arthur, without armor might I remind you, to fight a dragon! You have shown more bravery and loyalty than anyone in this room, maybe even combined." Leon said smiling at the boy.

"I don't have this long history with you, we haven't fought together for years, you didn't help me become a knight, or save me, or whatever you did with Gwaine his first time here. But I remembered how honored I felt when I got to meet you. You, the fabled Merlin. The man that Lancelot spoke of with undying loyalty, and I quote "the kindest and most selfless man you will ever meet." And when I met you you were beyond what I pictured. Meeting you was like meeting a legend Merlin. And that's what you are a legend." Percivil said.

"I think that's the most I've ever said." That caused alll the men, and Gwen to laugh.

"Merlin you are my first and best friend. I know how brave you are. I know how smart you can be. I know how good with a sword you have become from when you first came here. Your loyalty is and will never be questionable. And you are the the most selfless and kindest man I have met. I realize now that when we tease it is mostly aimed towards you. And that is wrong. You shouldn't have to be the one that feels less than us all when really you are the man we all aspire to be. I promise you Merlin. We all know that you are useful Merlin." Arthur concluded his statement with a hug.

Merlin was so touched he nearly clasped into Arthur's arm. Sobbing.

Merlins never been one for crying. Especially crying of happiness but this was one of those times where Merlin just did the abnormal.

When they finally split his face was bright red of embarrassment.

"Sorry. It's just. I've never had anyone other than my mum to tell merging like that. And it just means a lot. Thank you."

And for the first time in a while, Merlin felt useful.