Dangerous Women.

chapter 9

Clarkes pov.

I can feel the air thickening. Its safe to say we were both shocked.
Shocked for completely different reasons.  I didn't know what to say to her, or how to make this look of hopelessness on her face go away.

"Shes dead." She whispered more to herself then to me. I finally closed my mouth awkwardly standing there watching her press her back against the door.

This would be the very first time I've ever seen her so broken and vulnerable. I reach out to touch her but she pulls away.

"I'm sorry." I tell her. She doesn't look at me, not once. She stares to the ground like shes replaying her life all over again.

"You're right clarke. I think you should leave." Her voice low and full of bitterness. I swallowed hard watching her walk pass me.

"Lexa." I say turning around causing her to stop walking. Her back faces me, but i know shes crying.

"Just go." Her voice cracked.

She walked into her room, but i couldn't get myself to leave. I tried walking out the door but i couldn't.

I sat in the kitchen on one of the islands stools. Shoes now on, and expression still shocked.

I looked down at the photo of her and the other women, after i grabbed it from the front.

She seemed hsppy in the photo. Different even.

I look up when i see her exiting her room. She wore only a black silk satan robe. Her hair up in a messy bun.

"You're still here." She saids crossing her arms

"I'm not going anywhere." I assure her with a nod. She walks over to the fridge grabbing two beers before she takes a seat next to me infront of the island.

"Drink." She saids drinking the cold glass bottle of miller high life.
I did as she said and drank it.

"So what clarke? Do you think that this answers all you're questions? That now you've unlocked the mystery of my messed up life? That this part of my life explains why I am the way i am?"
I can tell shes being sarcastic. Shes telling me, more then she's asking me. I put my head down fidgeting with the half empty beer bottle.

"Do you want the truth, or the lie?" I ask looking up.

"Surprise me." She saids with a sarcastic smile before taking another drink of beer.

"Nope. This explains nothing. This doesn't have anything to do with the way you are." I say after taking a deep breath.

I cross my arms over my already crossed legs. She nods her head placing the beer bottles on the island.

"That was the lie." She saids nodding while looking into my eyes.

"Yeah." I reply with the same body movement.

"And the truth?" She asks.

"This explains just about everything, yes you were right. But i know this is just a small part of who you are-"

She cuts me off.

"Your wrong clarke. This is the only reason i am the way i am."

I shut my mouth looking into her eyes. We stare at each other before i break it.

"If you're waiting for me to explain what happened, i won't." She saids coldly.

"I wasn't." I was lying. I wanted to know what happened. I wanted to know so many things.