The Attempt *ON HOLD*

1ne

Explanation of CO below

Not sure about this Chapter but BAM! Here ya go :)

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"Well done, Evan!" The overly cheerful therapist smiled down at the results of the mental tests on a clipboard, spotting an improvement in the male's score as Evan sat silently and uncomfortably across his therapist, "I reckon you're free to go! You won't be needing your CO (Constant Observer) anymore!"

At those words, Evan could feel his heart skip a beat in excitement, him managing to keep it contained as he mustered up a fake smile, "Really?"

"Yep! Your CO can leave you alone," His therapist explained, Evan finally relieved he could now live without someone needing to stand in the bathroom with him as he takes a shower, or someone who sleeps in a bed beside his. Finally he could have the whole house to himself. Then his excitement seemed to shatter at the next line, Evan's smile nearly visibly dropping.

"But he will still have to live with you till you are completely better."

"Great..." Evan tried to suppress the sarcasm, successfully managing to hide it from the beaming man across from him.

"Alright. Your CO will have some leeway to leave you alone and such but will be required to check if you have taken your medication," His therapist then checked his notes briefly, scanning his eyes over the surface of the paper, "And... That's all for now," He looked up from it, smiling at Evan, "I'll see you next month, have a good day."

"You too," Evan nodded, speaking almost automatically as he stood up, his therapist jumping from his chair and leading him to the door. As Evan walked out of the office, he couldn't help but mutter under his breath, "I hope you die in a fucking fire," Luckily the clueless therapist didn't hear, returning back to his office as Evan grumpily huffed, making his way out the building.

Heading for his car, he dug his hands into his pockets, taking out the keys and unlocking the driver's side. He proceeded to climb in, shutting the door behind him and locking it, his head resting on the wheel. Then he banged his head three times onto the materiel, all the while cursing at himself.

"You. Fucking. Idiot." He growled before resting his head on the wheel, his fingers tightening around it in frustration. Evan was about ready to say goodbye to his CO, Luke, and say hello to the end. Although Luke was a nice guy and never yelled or raised his voice at Evan, he just wanted to end his suffering before it got too far. A car crash could be nice, but then again, Evan didn't want to go that way. He wanted to send a message to world saying, 'Hey, you fucked up another one. Good job, you little shit.'

Evan breathed out deeply, controlling the turmoil in his brain before lifting his head and slotting the key into the ignition, starting up the car. He backed out of the carpark, heading home with a million thoughts running in his mind.

....

Slamming his car door shut, Evan spotted the sleek car next to his in the garage, his mood dropping when he remembered Luke. He really didn't want to face his CO at the moment. He trudged on inside, grumbling quietly to himself as he opened the door leading from the garage and into the front hallway, him going for the connected kitchen and lounge. Upon entering the kitchen, he paused when he noticed Luke leaning on the back of the couch, arms crossed.

"How'd it go?" Luke had a slight accent that laced his words, Evan simply rolling his eyes and turning his back to the brunet for a drink.

"It was... Okay." He replied, grabbing a glass out the top cupboard and getting water from the tap, seeing as he was too lazy to get colder water from the fridge.

"And?"

"You don't have to watch me constantly," Evan turned to the taller male, leaning back onto the bench behind him, "And you can move to the guest room."

"Yep," Luke nodded, a smile across his face, "I called your doctor while you were driving here."

"Mmhm." Evan hummed, not really paying attention to the male as he swirled the water in his cup, watching it with way too much interest. Luke saw this and gave out a sigh, deciding it was best if he left the troubled man to his thoughts and proceeded to walk out the connected lounge.

"I'll be moving stuff to my new room if you need me." Luke called over his shoulder, snapping Evan from his trance to look up. He realised he was now alone, for the first time in years, he was able to be alone.

He began savouring the moment of complete loneliness, taking deep breaths of fresh air that wasn't tainted by another, and as Evan was exhaling in a deep breath of air, a thought crossed his mind.

'Now what? Where do I go from here?' He thought, 'Am I allowed to go outside the house whenever I want?'

Evan set down the glass on the counter behind him, it half-empty, or as he sees it in his mind. His thoughts wandered to when it would be a good time to end it and where?

Bleeding to death wasn't an option, seeing as he already tried that and that's was what ended him up in this position now. Overdose was too painful and felt weird, but why should he care when it would end soon? Car crash was out of it-

And then it struck Evan. He knows how to end it, and this may be a crazy thought, but it's easy and quick. Also, he would be able to send that, 'fuck you,' message to the world. But he would have to do it at night, sneak out, and with Luke in a different room, this just makes it easier.

Tonight. He'll do it tonight.

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CO is something I made up to make it more flexible in terms of the story.
Plz don't judge hard >~•

And I did say this was a different experience to most soooo plz don't judge hard >~•