More than a memory

Chapter 8

"I'm going to keep sitting here until I know you're okay. I hope you know that. I'm not leaving you."

Beca had been trying to talk to the red head through the bathroom door for over an hour but had received only sobs in response. The brunette hadn't budged from her spot, sitting straight up against the hard wooden door. She was beginning to grow uncomfortable, her legs long since having grown tired of their crossed position. It didn't matter to Beca though; she was going to stay there, as long as it took. There was no way she was leaving Chloe's house and leaving her alone and upset. That would be the easy thing to do, to leave and come back some time when Chloe had sorted her emotions out but Beca wasn't taking the easy route this time. The old Beca, the Beca from ten years ago, she would have run by now. Dealing with other people's emotions, their feelings had never really been her style. Beca had always run away from feelings, but now, she was ready to confront them head on; even if that meant sitting on the cold, hard floor for hours.

"You got all of my favourite candy and snacks," Beca mused excitedly, glancing down at the contents of Chloe's bag.

"Of course I did, what's a girl's night without snacks."

"Fair enough," Beca laughed, pulling the large bag of twizzlers out from under the popcorn.

Chloe just stared at her as she ripped the red candy apart with her teeth. She couldn't help but smile seeing how happy Beca seemed. She remembered how much the younger girl loved the twisty candy after a night out at the movies. Beca pouted when she saw that the theatre was out of her favourite treat. She mumbled something about being dragged out to a movie and there not even being any good candy. Chloe found her pout ridiculously adorable and assured her that she'd find her some twizzlers after the film. Sure enough once the film ended Chloe drove the two of them to a nearby convenience store and purchased Beca not one but two packages of the soft, gooey red candy. The way her face lit up at the sight of the candy made Chloe almost giddy herself. She longed to see Beca that happy all the time; she longed to make her that happy.

"Why are you staring at me?" Beca asked curiously.

"No reason, I just...you look happy."

The confusion must have been evident on Beca's face, because Chloe spoke up again to clarify moments later.

"The candy, it always makes you happy to have twizzlers."

"Oh," Beca laughed, "yeah I just really like them. My dad and I always shared twizzlers when I was growing up. I guess they remind me of him."

"That's sweet."

Beca just shrugged. She had opened up, but mere seconds later she was closing herself down again. It was like she felt she had revealed too much of herself and needed to stop. She couldn't let Chloe any closer than she already was.

"Beca, can we talk?" Chloe spoke up as the sun began to lower and night fall was upon them.

They had gotten lost in Beca's mixes, dancing around the living room, and just generally enjoying each other's company. Chloe didn't even notice the darkness creeping up, until she realized she had something she wanted to say before night's end.

"Sure, about what?"

As soon as Chloe had uttered "about us," Beca began roughly shoving things into her bag.

"I have to go actually, I have to meet Jesse early in the morning and umm, I have a paper to write."

It was a Friday night; Chloe knew there was no way Beca was leaving to write a paper. She sighed, knowing that trying to push the issue would just push Beca and her further apart. She could deal with them just being friends, with Beca being unwilling to realize there was something more between them but she couldn't deal with losing her friend. Beca was stubborn and closed off; pushing her to talk wouldn't do any good. If Beca was unwilling to talk about her feelings, nothing Chloe could do or say was going to change that. Beca was Beca, and Chloe would just have to deal with everything that entailed, including not being able to confess her feelings.