Chapter 1

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I think I've hit rock bottom.

Have you ever been hurt?
No.........Not physically hurt....more like emotionally hurt.....
The kind of hurt where you feel it in your chest....
Ok....Now imagine feeling that "hurt" everyday.......from sixth grade year all the way to now....my sophomore year.
Now....picture the cause of such "hurt" being your mom.....not so picture perfect huh?
I bet you're wondering....how could someone live with such pain .....for so long.....
How do I do it?
Why am I doing it?
........maybe I should jus-

"Elizabeth"
My eyes open so quickly which only results in me being blinded by bright lights.
Already lost deep in thought....I was puzzled by my surroundings.
That's when reality hit me
"Please pay attention....this is a classroom...not your bedroom"
Already annoyed from being awakened from my little daydream I reply
"Well maybe if you'd actually start teaching instead of babbling...I would've never fallen asleep."
A wave of anger began to rush through Mr. Kay's body
I couldn't help but to smile knowing that I've pissed yet another adult off today.
"Ms. Willow, I'll have you know that I-"

"Look Mr. Kay" I said a as I was gathering my things "let me stop you right there,I'll have you know that I honestly don't care, have a nice day"
I began to walk out of the door,
"Ms. Willows,if you walk out that door, I'll have no choice but to call your mom" he said in an angered tone
I began to chuckle and waved goodbye to my balding teacher.
Threatening to call my mom doesn't send a chill up my spine, It's not like she'd care anyways. Hell she might not even answer the phone. 

Walking out of the known place I like to call hell, Of course I received  a couple of apologetic glares from secretaries who are so nosey, they might know what hospital I was born in.
I try and stay away from them as much as possible.
All they ever want to talk about is how smart I am or I'm to pretty to be so foolish.

Oh hush

I quickly began my journey home, of course I'll see my usually drunken mom sprawled out over the couch,with a few strong half empty liquor bottles by her side.

I lazily walk up the steps of the rundown piece of crap I call "home".      I was quickly Surprised  when the door swung open and where I came face to face with a drunk.
My mom. 
There stood a tall slender brown skinned woman with wild curly hair. 
"Your school called Liz" she said with a frown
At least she answered the phone
"Yea well I'm sorry if I woke yah from your nap". I replied with an angered tone
I trotted my way towards the refrigerator quickly scanning the shelves....knowing I wouldn't find what I was looking for.
"How dare you talk to me with that tone....I'm worried about yah".
She sat down on the already sunken in couch and popped open a beer can.
I could tell from her swaying unsteady movements,she was already drunk.

Disgust filled my body entirely
"Why are you worried about me all of a sudden?"  Anger clearly rising in my voice "Since when did I become a 'worry' in your life, go worry about yourself and how you don't have a stable job that can support either of us".

Sadness clouded her face
"Liz-" she hiccuped
Oh god
Don't cry now

I blinked away the tears as fast as I could.
Frustrated with the situation
I ran into the bathroom, caught by my own reflection in the mirror, I began to cry.

Why can't my mom be normal?

Why can't she realize what's wrong and seek help?

Why won't anyone help me?




I gained control and wiped my tears away,regaining confidence and looked back into the mirror. 
Noting how many features of my dad peeked through me, from the curly auburn hair all the way to my dimpled chin,im the only image that helps me remember my dad, my mom burned all of his pictures after he walked
out on us.

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