farewell party | verkwan | completed

[ 27 ]

they sat in silence, across the table there's hansol biting his cheek gums out of nervousness, and there's seungkwan, who's practically sending daggers to hansol's direction. "are you going to talk? because clearly i don't have all day for you, hansol."

hansol, hansol liked his nickname better, this—this just sounded terrible, not in a bad way but, it just felt different. he was not used to the person in front of him being serious with him, it wasn't like he mind it—

he snapped out his thoughts, seeing seungkwan's puffy eyes as well as those dark circles, this might not go well at all. "well, uhm, i want to apologize. really, for not answering your texts and calls, or even kicked you out that day. i just—i just don't know. you know, myself. i told my parents to stop letting you in and ignore you no matter how much they wanted to answer the door." he looked directly into seungkwan's eyes, he was showing no emotion into his speech, and as if he wanted to get out of this as soon as possible or simply because he wants to comfort john, maybe both, hansol doesn't know.

"it was just, i couldn't accept the fact that one day i'll lose you for real, it hurts, our love, this, us. it hurts, maybe after we disappeared we wouldn't be able to see each other in after life—or maybe we weren't meant to be at all." he continued, "and if i can live for eternity, i would give you love as much as i possibly can, i tried to shake my thoughts away, but it was always you, you and you and you. i couldn't help but force myself to get out of the bed, get dressed and somehow my own footsteps led me to your door. i guess i was foolish to think i can not love you."

that made seungkwan stand up, stumbled towards hansol and hugged him tightly, letting himself fall right into hansol's arms. whatever it is, he couldn't make himself stay mad at hansol for so long, hansol, returned the hug by wrapping his arms around seungkwan's waist and pulled him closer. feeling the soft beating of seungkwan's heart, completely calmed him down. I love you, he whispered, rubbing circles around seungkwan's back.

he regretted the fact that he let seungkwan break,

and now it is time for hansol to solve the puzzle back into how it has been.

if it's not solvable, it's okay, it's still lovely. 

a/n:
did this at school, honestly i'm so tired i might even stop breathing at one point. and i'm still wondering how people write smut scenes, i couldn't write one without deleting the whole thing and cringe my life out. (yes there was supposed to be a smut scene somewhere in this book, but let's keep it innocent.)

pls give clc love