the stars

iv.

he was sitting in front of his teacher ms. allen, as she scribbled miraculously against the blackboard. amid the rushes of a shrieking chalk, he could hear the faint murmurs of darla, chatting with an adjacent friend about something to do with attention.

he thought that maybe they were talking about him. about how he has never really succeeded the concept of attentiveness. and he found it ironic how they were talking about such a thing when they were in a classroom, having their own discussion when they were in need of paying attention themselves to their corresponding lectures.

he thought about this. he thought about darla. he turned his head slightly, only enough to let his peripheral vision to capture the vibrant red of her t-shirt. he felt as though she were looking in his direction, and it annoyed him. why? because she may as well have been looking directly at him, for all he knew.

temptation slinked up his arm and beckoned his shoulders. he began to get anxious, the distress of having his only friend leave him all because of a simple 'huh' that was never really intended, wrapping its hands around his neck.

his urges took the better of him, and he finally let himself see her without his eyes feeling funny. discouragement settled in the pit of his stomach when he realised that she was staring up at the board and that by the time he decided to turn around again, every child's eyes within a mile radius had caught him.

he wondered why everyone was staring at him. a snap sounded right behind his ears, and he turned around to face ms. allen's frustrated glare that drifted between her narrow spectacles.

his eyes trailed down to the ruler in her hands and for a moment he was frightened.

"is everything alright, mr. eloss?"

gus' shoulders sunk and then he said, "y-yes, ms."

"are you sure?"

"yes, ms."

"well we can't be sure enough. answer this question, mr. eloss." she cleared her throat.

"how long does it take for a sun's light to reach the earth?"

he gulped; not out of the fear that he'd possibly be put on detention, but out of the fear that he didn't know the answer to this question that he'd love to know himself.

he didn't know what to think. he didn't know what to do. he felt his classmates' all staring at him. he felt darla's eyes stabbing him in the back of the head. he felt guilt. he felt it tie knots in his stomach and then squeeze his lungs.

what could he say? unfortunately, he didn't know the answer to that question, either.

he did the only thing he could think of.

he didn't speak.