Juggernaut: Alpha

Mk Ultra

"Nine...... Eight...... Seven......"

My heart began to rapidly pace up my throat as if it were being chased by the being injecting the fluid into it. These demons branding my insides with holy water.

"I'm numb. I'm numb." I kept trying to convince myself.

I've heard of Hell before. An endless suffering. The sensation of finding yourself eternally struggling with the idea of your entirety becoming engulfed in flame. Skin begins to blister, oozing as you feel every single inch of your body reduce to nothingness as you hopelessly charge in all directions. Simultaneously fighting for the will in your mind to crack before you do and allow your numb corpse, if there is one, to succumb to it. Almost seems as if it'd become monotonous to some extent after the first couple of centuries. But don't you worry. There are endlessly creative torture methods concocted from the deepest, darkest fears trembling under the depths of your lonely thoughts.

"Innocent babe, shall we continue the purification?" the demon asked.

"Yes."

My body laid open to the naked eyes of the room to see. What seemed like thoughts were but smoke and mirrors among the methods of masks looming over me. The sharp tip of a knife grazing across my skin like a snake slithering around my neck. The boiling blood coalescing hot flashes of pain to travel frantically throughout my nervous system. Eyes raining salt upon open wounds gracing my face as they teetered somewhere between fogging up and crystal clarity.

"Innocent babe, tears are only meant to be conjured amongst love." the demon explained behind a cackle.

"Instead, conjure a laugh!"

And with that snickering remark from the faceless demon, I began to shed a slight grin. Trembling, what felt as if two blades were harassing both center sides of my lip pushing in opposite directions pleased them. Of course I'd do as they said. Every attempt at resistance was only followed by lashings and immeasurable levels of pain only surpassed by the aching in my subconscious. My head began to throb with an intensity that could collapse the room I was restrained in. Lights seem to flicker and fade within me as the purification continued.

"You aren't scared. You've earned this pleasure." A persuasive whisper in the back of my head echoed.

My glass brain projected every hollow spectrum of free will left in me as the poison began to caress my thoughts. The blades morphing into insects hellbent on chipping away at the lower sanctums of my sanity. Scratching, clawing, gnawing away at every fiber of me. Crawling through every chamber of my ears. Licking their rotten teeth to the core as they begin to let sugarcoated expressions slip out of their filthy maws.

"Your heart is still, but your infant hands are shaking now." entered my left ear.

"Start leaking all the thoughts on your mind." entered the right one.

My thoughts, once cherished and left alone to my own personal dwellings began to flood out like the slit throat it seemed to resemble. My heart pounding with the force of an orchestral arrangement as the fear of my self-doubts and deepest fears began to leap into the knowledge of every demon with an open ear.

"What's yours, is ours for the taking."

My empty vessel was given purpose again. I offered myself to the blazing heat scorching my feet. I gift-wrapped my tongue and shed blood for words of praise as the blades continued to paint my flesh. I hollowed my mind as the shocking waves coursing through my veins began to intensify. Ecstatic, I lost the need to sever myself from what was happening. I felt acceptance from the pain. I felt... accepted by the angels whispering among each other. Their halos shined brighter than ever before now. I subject to the voices. I let them in.

I've heard of Heaven before. An unending bliss. The sensation of finding yourself eternally at peace with the idea of your golden gates opening before you. Impervious to affliction, radiating as you feel every single inch of your body produce an immense light as you're surrounded by hope in every direction. Simultaneously inhaling air so crisp and fresh it could forever replace your want and need of sustenance. Rejoicing with loved ones long past your human life expectancy. Almost seems as if it'd become monotonous to linger in that kingdom of clouds after the first couple of centuries. But don't start worrying now. Your bliss isn't derived from tainted ignorance. The sands of sin do not flow under the heavy heat in this utopia, and you are always welcome.

"But the fall is inevitable." the person said.

I began spiraling within my own hallucinations. Sight became discordant to sound, disconnecting as I became unable to differentiate the two. A perpetual fall within a tornado of senses adrift. I was lost within the forest of myself. My eyes heard the people listening to my dissent.

"Control one."

And with the snap of a finger, the cords tangled within me became loose. The cobwebs and rusted gears began to operate in a fashionable manner as my thoughts were handed back to me. My vision returned as the culmination of voices quelled. The insects returned to their hives as the room became still. My heart returned to my chest. Graciously, I accepted this with an open mind.

"Innocent babe, the poison now is your responsibility. You can finger-paint with blood on your hands." The Priest said.

Those heartwarming words that seemed to return life to me proved that I passed my people's test. Through trials and tribulations I am now one of them. I've become worthy enough to carry the image of our leader. It almost brought me to a tear, but four words returned to me.

"Instead, conjure a laugh!"

The room echoed with the booming laughter of a child born within the halls of Hell on Earth. A right of manhood bestowed upon me as I am now ready to partake in the rituals of my people. My brothers. My sisters. My father.

The Priest gazed upon me. analyzing the crimson lakes that once flowed out of me stained upon the cold iron slab I was once confined to. He smiled, and with a warming embrace choked the pain I originally felt away with a loving hold.

"Take this bruise as a sign that we own you now and forevermore."

I was theirs. Forevermore.