stargirl → chris & eva

t r e t t e n

│ s t a r g i r l │
‣ chapter thirteen ‣

"Oh, I'm so sore."

I glance up from my phone, curious to listen about how sore Noora is. My eyes fall on her exhausted figure.

She waddles over to her bed like a penguin.

"Ah, William?"

She nods weakly.

"You have broken it off with Nathan, right?" I ask to clarify.

Her body tenses as her features harden. "I've tried to, Eva. Believe me, I have, but he's just not co-operating with me. I keep telling him that it won't work out between us but he demands a valid reason."

"Uh, just tell him that you're with William again?" I suggest.

"No, I can't do that. I don't want him to think I'm a slut."

"You aren't, though. Getting back together with somebody that you love unconditionally regardless of what is going on is not being a slut." I explain briefly with a reassuring look.

Noora raises her eyebrow in surprise. "When did you start to use such wise phrases? I think I've mistaken you for Eva Mohn"

"I think I'm in love." I sigh, melodramatically.

"With who? Christoffer?" Noora is taken back by my response.

I nod with a giddy beam. "Whenever he's around or I see him, my stomach starts flipping wildly and I can barely talk - I'm always stammering around him."

"Oh, bless! My child is in love." Noora exclaims. "When are you planning to tell him?"

Suddenly, my facial expression falters. "Wait, what?"

Noora rolls her eyes. "Don't tell me you're going to keep this from him. You can't keep it from him. You need to tell him. Don't be nervous, sweetie, I'm sure he feels the same way."

"Positive?"

She nods.

I stare at her cautiously as I contemplate. "No, I can't do this. No way."

"Oh, for Christ sake, Eva. You have a vagina, I'm certain you'll be able to do this." Noora convinces me.

My hands come up to my face frantically. "What if he doesn't love me back? What will I do then? Oh, Noora, I've fallen deep. Really fucking deep."

Noora sends me a reassuring smile. "Not to worry, sweet Eva. I love you. He loves you too. There's no doubt about it."

My shoulders fall as I come to a conclusion. "Ugh, Noora I swear to god if he doesn't love me back I'm blaming your ass."

Noora sits up in her bed and holds her arms up, ready to fight.

"Cash me ousside, how bow dah?"

I snort a laugh as the memory of the famous video pops up into my head.

Then I pull my body out of bed and tie my hair up. I grab my jacket, throwing it on before I exit and head in the direction of Chris's room.

It takes me a few minutes until I arrive in front of his door.

Just before I enter, I take a deep breath to try to keep my rapidly increasing nerves at ease.

Chris is laying on his bed as I expect with his phone in his hands as he nonchalantly types away. His eyes move up when I close the door behind me. He gets up in an instant and a wicked smile takes over his face.

"Well, that was quick."

Just then, I feel my phone vibrate. I pull it out and it's, indeed, a text from Chris.

"I'm not here to have sex with you," I inform him.

He raises his eyebrow at me with a confused look in his eye. I don't think he understands how attractive he looks when he makes that face.

"That's right because you're here to fuck me?" He asks, sheepishly.

Chris walks over to me close enough for me to breathe in his scent. His arm glides around my back and in one tender pull, our skin touches. Our bodies match as we're made for this. Every kiss has a raw intensity - breathing heavy, heart rates accelerates. His fingertips are electric, they must be, for wherever they touch, my skin tingles in a frenzy of static.

"No," I breathily respond "I need to tell you something."

"What is it, angel?" He groans in my neck.

"I want you, always. I can't get enough of this, Christoffer. I feel like I need you all the time."

Chris lets out a low chuckle. "Well, we're all addicted to something, Evaline. Some people have different desires but ours, they're the same and that's why we're the best at what we do."

I interject. "B..But that's not what I feel for you, Chris. I feel more, so much more."

He freezes suddenly. He pulls away from me, staring over at me emotionlessly. The only thing that can be heard is the sounds of our billowing breaths.

"No. No, Evaline." He repeats for emphasis. "You can't fall in love with me. I'm not a good person."

"That's too late because...I am in love with you."

Chris' eyebrows furrow. "No! You're not. You can't be. Nobody can love me. I don't love you - I will never love you."

That one hurt. It's as if a bullet just tears through my chest, killing me slowly.

Tears start to blur my vision and it's becoming harder for me to actually see his face.

"D..Don't do this, Chris. Why are you doing this to me?"

"I'm telling the truth, Evaline." He insists. "You're nothing to me - you mean nothing."

How can his words affect me this badly? I'm so in love with him. I'm so fucking stupid for being in love with somebody who will never love me. Because he simply can not love.

I'm so overwhelmed with the hurt that I barely hear Chris storm out of the room.

The door slams shut.

Before I can stop myself, I sink to my knees against the cold tiles on the wall. My walls, the walls that hold me up, simply collapse. The sobs punch through, ripping through my muscles, bones, guts. I cry into my hands. The hot tears drip between my fingers. I make no attempt to wipe them away. There's no use - more come to take their place.

I can't stay in this room any longer. I need to get out of here. He can't see me like this when he comes back. I won't let him.

I won't let him witness the effect he has on me.

When I attempt to pull my body up, I grab onto the glass table for support, pressing all my weight on it as it becomes a difficulty to stand up.

It's a bad idea, however, because when I'm nearly up, the glass smashes on the ground into hundreds form of itself. I fall along with it, feeling the broken glass pierce through my skin.

A scream rips through my throat.

I lack the strength to move again as the red liquid begins to ooze mercilessly from my arms and back. Oh, god. That's too much blood.

Soon enough, I'm engulfed by a darkness.

✧

thank you for reading!! <3

- all the love, malika