Handle With Clare

Chapter 13: She Has Been On This Earth Longer

Song if for the start of the chapter!

Darla H

"So I thought we could go to the supermarket and get some takeout food for dinner. You can pick out the meal," mom said as she leaned into my bedroom door frame two days later.

I looked at her from the book I was reading and thought about it for a second, even though I knew what my answer would be. Released from the hospital two days ago, I still hadn't heard a single word from Peter.

For those two days, I wallowed in self petty, knowing that I scared him off. He didn't want to deal with a person who was sick and dying of cancer. That was too much work for someone in high school to deal with. But the saddest part was that he didn't even bother with breaking up with me formally. His silence was enough of an answer for me.

What happened to 'I'm not going anywhere'? He clearly lied, and just like my old friends, he left me, too. What made me furious was that he just refused to text me and I was too afraid to text him. So instead, I just drew the lines together in my mind knowing that we were over.

I looked at her sweet smile as she tried so hard to cheer me up. It was almost cute if I wasn't so depressed about the reality of things. But not a single shipping trip will help this. I was heartbroken. My boyfriend vanished just like that, and I needed to mourn. But that was what she didn't understand. "Nah. Whatever you get will be fine," I said to her and then turned back to my book.

"Please, Clare? I want you to come with me," mom said to me, not leaving where she stood.

I stared at her for a moment, knowing that she wouldn't leave until I said yes. When she set her mind to something, there was no use in saying no. Just wanting this to end as quick as possible, I sighed and put my book on a nearby shelf. "Fine. You win. Let's go."

She smiled widely at me, knowing that she once again got her way. "Great."

As we drove to the supermarket, mom talked about loads of random things. I half-listened, but for most of the ride, I stared out the window, thinking about what Peter was doing now. He could do many things, but one thing was for sure, he wasn't thinking about me.

"What are you thinking about?" mom asked as she got a shopping cart inside our local supermarket.

I frowned, realizing that I had not said a single word to her this whole time. I looked around where we were at, not wanting to talk about this subject at the supermarket filled with all the town local folk who would bound to listen. I smiled at her to reassure her that nothing was on my mind.

"Are you thinking about Peter?"

I shrugged to agree with her. I figured I should be honest if she already knew what I was thinking about. No use keeping up with the lie when she already knew the truth. "Yeah, maybe a little."

"Well, tell me what's on your mind," she asked as she leaned on the cold mental cart, giving me her full attention as we walked through the produce.

I sighed. Did I really want to tell her about my drama, here no less? Once upon a time, I used to be completely honest with mom and sometimes I missed it. The past three years had forced me to keep almost all of my secrets to myself, to protect them and me from the fallout. But maybe it would be better to be candid with her.

"I was thinking he would visit me at the hospital. He seemed so supportive the night I saw him. I thought he would stay with me, not just through the night, but as my boyfriend. I thought he was going to stay, even though he knew what I really had. But since that night I haven't heard from him," I told her in the aisle of the frozen produce.