The Blue Rose

Chapter 4 continued

I walk into the place I call home. Tonight is Thursday, so I know that my father and brother are out doing something there not supposed to. The medium sized house is quite. No yelling, no screaming just silence. I start to walk upstairs where my room is. I then remember something that I never realized I had forgotten. My violin. Ooh, my beautiful red wood violin. I used to play it when I was in jr. High and had forgotten all about it. I had never taken orchestra again because people would make fun of me for that to. The violin had always been my passion, but I had to give it up.

In the winter of 9th grade my father wouldn't let me take any music classes. He said that those types of classes where for the people who actually had talent. That was one of the few lies that I didn't believe. I knew that somewhere in this messed up brain that I had a talent, and I was going to find it if it killed me. I had then decided that I wanted to take the class in secretary. I would always walk home from school, but instead if walking through the front door I would walk through the back door with my instrument. Silently, I would walk up to my room, hide it in my closet then walk back through the back door and walk through the front door. I did that every single day. Until, my father finally caught me. He was going outside the back door when I was walking inside. He saw the violin case and started screaming at me. He grabbed it out of my hands and threatened to put it in the fire. I told him that if he didn't burn it I would drop out of orchestra and I would sell the violin. Back in the day my father was a little bit nicer then he is now, so he said yes. I hid it in the shed until my father and brother finally went out. I hid it in my top shelf of my closet and forgot about it.

I think about getting it out playing on the strings and listen to the beautiful sound it makes, but decide not to. Instead I go to the blue rose to see if they have any symphony music I can listen to. I grab my house key and run out the door.

Since the blue rose is not that far I decide to just walk. I've always loved walking. It helps me sort my thoughts out.

The blue rose is only a couple of blocks down so it takes me no time at all to get there. I walk in to a smile on Derek's face.

"Hello, mr. Smiley." I say playfully.

"Hello, Elizabeth. It's good to see you. Is there anything I can help you with?"

"Actually, there is. I was hoping if you could help me find some symphony music." He turns toward his computer and starts typing. He is about to say something to me but is interrupted by the ringing of the phone.

"Excuse me a second." He says politely. He picks up the phone and starts to talk.

"Yes, I know sweetie.........yes we are still on for tonight..........no I am not renting a limo, Linsey....."

I stopped listening after I hear the name Linsey. Out of all the people he could date he dates the rich snob monster. I am full of sadness and anger and run out of the store. Hoping that he knows nothing of what Linsey does to me at school.

I open the door to my room and I sit on my bed, asking myself questions that i will probe lay never get the answer to unless I get close to Derek.

Why her?

What's so special about her that he loves?

Is he a friend? Or a foe?

I will have the answers to the questions eventually, hopefully.

A knock on my door startles me. Who would this be? It couldn't be my father or brad they would just knock down the door.

"Come in," I say as my voice shakes. The door opens slowly and revile my mother. My mother? What is she doing here knocking at my door?

"Mom?" I say quietly.

"Hello darling. It's been a long time." My mother says. Her voice is soft like silk. And surprisingly she looks healthy, beautiful even. Her hair is a light red and her skin looks like she's been out in the sun for a while. Her clothes even look brand new. As I examine her, I start to ask myself more and more questions.

Where did she get those clothes?

How did she get her skin to look like that?

Has her hair always been red like mine?

"I know, your surprised right? " she asks. I nod my head slightly.

"I decided to actually get myself together this time. I haven been high in........about two months. "You've never noticed me around because I leftish out telling anyone. I didn't tell your father because I knew he and your brother would try to stop me."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I whisper. I'm on the verge if tears because if how much I want to believe this. I know it's a lie. My mother has tried a dozen times trying to fix herself up. It never happens. I always wish it does, but it doesn't.

"To tell you the truth, I don't know. I never even thought about telling you because I know that you would let me do it. And not hurt me in any way shape or form."

I slowly get up off my bed and walk toward her. I examine her one more time and say," it's not real. You've said this before and it's always been a lie. I do not believe that you have completely fixed yourself up in only two months." My mother looks stunned, hurt even. Like she actually had feelings other then the fake ones while she was on drugs.

"It's the truth this time. Does it look like my eyes are glazed?" I look straight into her eyes and look closely. Her eyes aren't glazed. They are a dark green. Just like mine. My mother and I have a lot of the same genetics that I've never noticed before. She's telling the truth. She had actually done it. She stopped using the drugs. I walk closer to her until we are finally embrace each other. I start to sob of how happy I am. She has never hugged me before and it feels wonderful. The warmth and comfort that a mother is supposed to give when she gives a hug to one of her children.

We walk out of each other's embrace and hear the front door slam open.

"April!!!!!!" My father screamed. Oh no, my father must have seen my mothers car in the drive way. He sounds like he's about to explode.

"Liz, I need you to listen to me." My mother says softly. She puts her hands on my face and says,

"Climb out the window and do not return until you know for sure that everything is all right." She pulls my head down and kisses it gently.

"What about you mom?" I say.

"I'm going to stay here and try to talk to your father. I don't want him to hurt you again."

I hear him run up the stairs and my mother turns, closes and locks my bedroom door, and whispers "go before it's to late."

I grab my jacket and climb out my window. Hoping, praying that when I return that my mother will be alright.