To Collocate The Stars

nine

Destinesia

I've been living a life of lies in the land of milk and honey.

I've been too blind to see the beautiful sunset behind these clouds of confusion, sadness, and self-pity.

I spent too much time worrying about other people's relationships with you than the one that has bloomed right beneath my nose, disguised by my shitty attitude and whiny love letters.

Here I was wallowing because I knew you have the hots for someone brighter, kinder, less fractured than me, but it turns out this friendship I've been craving was here all along.

As a human being, I've been able to accommodate to the intensity of my vanity and the friendship I obsess over having.

There is no correct way in which I can, or ever could express my feelings.

My gratitude is endless, and I will forever be emotionally endowed to you.

No matter where we go in life, I pray to whatever higher power is out there that you never forget me because I know I will never forget you.

I've been living in the past far too long to remember what the present looks like.

Too many times I try to live deep inside my memories, but often times this leads to me not being able to remember what's happening now...I need to learn to live in the now, for one day, my memories of the past will run out, and I'll be left with this time puzzle that is missing the pieces that connect the past to the future.

Perhaps it was then that I realized you were nothing more than a human being like me, flawed and problematic; perhaps it was then that I realized that I told jokes not to make you think I was funny, but to make you happy, because, for that split second in which your lips parted to show off that signature megawatt smile, I saw the light behind your eyes.

As you smiled I saw everything you were thinking, but before I could taste the sweet, coppery knowledge of knowing what lay behind your eyes, what you were really thinking behind that facade of "functional human", that smile melted into something of a reprocussional frown.

Here I am. All of me for all of you. I don't want you to forget me. When you focus too much on the past, you forget to live in the moment. And I don't want you to miss what's going on right now either.

You may feel hopeless now, but I know that one day it will all fall into place. There may be two different sides to you, but one day you will find the happy middle ground. And when you do, I hope I'm by your side to see it.

One day soon you'll find that spark.

One day soon you will find your place

Under the MidHeaven Sky.

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So here we are: we've reached the end of TCTS. I hope you've enjoyed reading it, and to those who have stuck it out and read till the end, that you. For those of you who tuned in for certain chapters, thanks for giving them a shot. Leave me a comment or a message if y'all would be interested in a second book??? (Let's be honest, I'm 99% sure I'm going to be doing a second book anyways lol. Check ya later :)

-M.W.

P.S: there were a lot of songs that went with this writing process. I chose this song for this poem because of the person it is written about. They sang me this song over a facetime conversation...