Dark & Light

~Chapter Thirteen~

Paige's POV

(If you'd like, you can listen to 'Lights' by Ellie Goulding while reading this chapter. I thought it complimented well with the general theme/meaning of this chapter. :) )

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I pulled slowly away from him.

I felt....numb. Like there was a gaping hole inside, that Chris was beginning to fill. And because the hole had been left empty for so long, I was afraid of anyone filling it. Somehow, I sensed that something would happen to rip apart that comfort, friendship...caring, before I even had the opportunity to hold someone, to hold Chris, close in my heart for once.

He was looking down me, his electrified blue eyes full of anxiety, waiting for me to say something, make a motion, to communicate anything at all.

I didn't understand how I had even reached this point, how I had grown so strongly attracted to him, how I wanted him now more than anyone else I had ever wanted in my life. Yes, even more than what had been torn from me so cruelly. More so than even that...

That was saying a lot considering who I had wanted so much in the past, and who had failed to pull through for me. But somehow that didn't matter in this situation. At least, didn't matter too much. Because the same questions were running through my head.

Would he fail me? Let me go if he tired of me?

No, wait-no ifs. When he tired of me?

There was no way to know.

Would I trust? Why would I?

But I knew the answer. If I searched long enough within, I could hear it speak softly inside.

Because he'll love you. Because he'll fill your heart like no one has ever been willing to do before. Close your eyes, Paige. Think of what your heart tells you, what your emotions speak with their feelings when Chris crosses your thoughts. What stirs deep within with him on your mind and in your heart?

But what he does feel? Is he going to try to use me? Is he lying when he says he cares for me, too? Will he stay by my side or leave, once again?

"Chris, I want you to do something," I said barely above a whisper.

"Yes?" There was a glint of apprehension in his eye.

"You have to be entirely honest doing this. If you're not, there's no point in doing it for me at all. Okay?"

"I'll be honest, I promise."

"Why are you pursuing me? And why haven't you given up on me yet?"

A look of discomfort briefly passed over his face. Then he coughed before responding. "Do I have to answer this?"

"Yes. And if you're not honest I swear to God-"

"Hey you're not even Christian, I thought, so no need to swear like that," he interrupted. "But I'll be honest. I promise." He sighed softly.

"Okay," I whispered.

"I...don't want to give up on you. Not unless you push me away entirely. I don't just see potential in you. I see someone broken like me, and I feel like you need someone. And I know for certain I need you.

"You've made me want to start living again, Paige. And no one has done that for many years. I want to do crazy things when I'm around you. I want to share secrets. Truthfully, you..."

He paused, then continued with something that shocked me. "You scare me. In a good, but freaky way, you scare me. You make me feel like there's truly a point in going on and not giving up."