Affection, Adoration, and Infatuation {Ryden}

The Highschool Whore

"Babe! Don't forget your computer!" Dallon yelled at me as I was midway down the sidewalk. I looked back to him with distress etched on my features. Today really hasn't been my day, and it's only 6:30 AM. I've been worrying all day about going back to school.

As a teacher for once.

I've been looking forward to this for like, the past month and a half. But now, as it's an hour and a half until I have to go, I'm possibly the most worried I've been in quite some time.

I'm still surprised that the school board even looked back on my resume and considered me - let alone hire me. I graduated out of college barely over three months ago. I am seriously doubting my teaching abilities because I still have a lot to learn myself, still. I'm only twenty-two! I'm still one of those teenagers! I really should just call the school and tell them that I can't make it, have someone sub for me until they find someone else so they can-

"Bren!" Dallon yelled again. "I can hear you thinking from here. You're going to do fine," he said as he walked down the pavement to hand me my computer. "You're smart, and fun to listen to, and there is no one else that would be better at teaching angsty teenagers the fun and amazing world of health!" He cheered, although it sounded strained because honestly, who the fuck wants to learn about health? It's not what I wanted to do, but it's one of the easier subjects I could teach without much hassle.

"Dal, I'm probably gonna fuck up this whole thing. Like, I was a teenager literally five seconds ago. I know they won't want to listen to anything I have to say. Especially if it's about health. I mean, I know I wouldn't want to learn about health. How the fuck am I supposed to make them like me?"

"Brendon, look at me," he said gently, but took my face in his to make me look at him. "You are going to do great. You have nothing to worry about. You'll be fine. You can call me whenever. Okay? Now, you get to school before you're late and I love you." He leaned in and kissed me gently before forcefully turning me around and walking me to my car. "Call me at lunch and lemme know how everything is, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. Love you, uhm, bye." I said awkwardly as I pulled out of the driveway.

I worry too much, sometimes. I think too much about what people will think, how things will turn out, what's going to happen if I have to interact with someone - basically anything anyone can think about, I worry about. It's not my fault though, I'm just afraid of everything and terrible at conversing with humans because they can form coherent thoughts and opinions. Cats are one thing, but people are another. People are judgemental and rude, cats just lay around and want you to pet them. They're easy. I can't just go up to a person and start petting them and calling them 'pretty kitty', it's weird and unacceptable in society.

I pull into the school parking lot and take a look around. I'm considering just pulling out of the lot and leaving to go to IHOP, honestly. But I told Dallon that I'd make it through the day.

I toured the school, like, a week before I started, so I'm sort of familiar with the place. So that's a plus, I guess.

Now I just have to make it through eight periods with twenty kids per class. I could do this. Yup, I could so do this.

I exhale before nodding reassuringly to myself. I grab my bag containing everything I need for the day from the passengers seat. Opening the door, I leave my car and get to my classroom.

Ding! Ding!

Just as I actually got into the school, I received a text from Dallon. Who else would it be? Honestly though, it's not like I have any other friends. Besides my mom, but she doesn't count.

babe i can still hear u thinking okay, thrs no reason to worry. call or text me between classes, i need to make sure u dont die ur too young <3