Anemia.
Anorexia.
Depression.
Anxiety.
PTSD.
Things I've been diagnosed with in the past year.
It's a couple months later.
I'm now in 9th grade. It's 2017. Been a while. I live in a new house. And share a room with my sister so that I won't try and hurt myself. Doesn't work tho cause I have my own bathroom and secret places. A very secret place where I hide my blade band aids and my toothbrush.
Tonight I find out I have anemia.
Wtf. Right?
Like what even is that.
Well even though I eat zero to nothing most of the stuff I actually do eat don't include enough "greens" and that causes loss of my red blood cells. Or something like that. I mean you might want to look it up.
I blew up on my mom. Cause once again she made everything about her. And I confronted her on it. I yelled at her.
I cried.
I don't cry.
I hate crying.
But I did.
And it felt good and bad.
...... A/N I'm sorry I just can't. I can't finish this chapter fully I'm going to start crying again it took me months to write that last one. And I just can't. I feel like doing something harmful towards myself but I'm just so tired. And I am always so tired. Every second of the day it feels like I'm fighting not to fall asleep. And apparently I'm bipolar so that doesn't help anything. I can go from hyper to tired in seconds. And it fucking sucks. I'm sorry for spilling all of this on the internet I just need somewhere where I can spill my guts. Confess stuff to people that I don't know. And I feel like if I write this and if someone who is the same way will know that they are not alone. YOU are NOT alone in anyway. I'm here. I understand the struggle. And I understand the sadness and tiredness that comes along with what ever is going on. This is not just some story I come up with in my brain this is real stuff real memories that actually happened. What happened in this really short chapter happened earlier tonight. I'm up to date now. It might be a while before I update again. But if anyone needs someone feel free to message me.
