Nine always knew he was gay. He tried everything to change it, to make himself like girls but as time passed he found it impossible to alter the way he felt. He was a realist and wouldn't deny it to himself.
He had many crushes growing up. The boy next door. Boys in junior school and now in high school, there seemed to be no escaping it.
He was head over heels in love with a boy who didn't even know he existed.
Head of the marching band, and with the many responsibilities that entailed, he was always busy training and teaching his classmates the art of a successful band. It didn't always appear that way, but he was good at it and in the end, these boys would prove to be an excellent band.
He would never be able to pinpoint when Rodtang first caught his eye, or when he started to feel what he felt, but he knew over time it had almost become an obsession. Rodtang being part of the band didn't make things any easier.
He was taking and making every opportunity to be near him, to just be near him.
Rodtang was a terrible flirt and he clearly had a crush on someone else, maybe even more than one person. Nine couldn't tell. He just couldn't read Rodtang.
This flirtatious side of Rodtang was bothersome for more reasons than one. The first being because he was quite a bit younger. Two grades behind him in school, and, secondly, because Rodtang was always acting cute and putting himself in the path of other boys. Nine wasn't even sure if he really liked these guys or if Rodtang was just seeking attention.
And third, other than defying him at every turn and teasing him relentlessly, Nine didn't read any return in his feelings for Rodtang.
Playful and funny Rodtang had a way with people. He seemed to be able to charm just about anyone. Watching him do this so often was a miserable lot in life. Nine felt jealousy, but, he felt he had no right to. Rodtang didn't belong to him.
The jealousy only made it worse. Nine believed he was invisible in Rodtang's eyes.
"I'm just another person he loves to toy with and irritate. He never flirts with me."
That's how Nine always played it. He acted like he was irritated with Rodtang when he wouldn't show up at all for practice.
It was worse when he did show, but instead, he just messed around instead of taking it seriously. Nine felt it reflected badly on him, making him look like he had no control over his juniors.
This, of course, was like a rash and it spread, if Rodtang was fooling around it gave the other boys the feeling they could do it too. Sometimes it was exasperating. Unable to get control, Nine would get really frustrated and yell at the boys.
Over time Nine tried different tactics with Rodtang. He tried leaving him a text to meet at the garden tables in front of the school.
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