Mr Perfect

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"Just once can you get your head out of your arse and say something that is worth the air you breathe in?"

"Ohhhhh!" The majority of the nations said in unison like a bunch of immature kids waiting for a fight to break out.

"Ain't it oblivious why I'm always the one talkin'? It's 'cause ya'll don't have any better ideas!"

England's eye twitched noticeably. "For the last time stop bastardizing my language! And the word you're looking for is 'obvious'. 'Oblivious' is what you are."

"Doth my English bug you, bumpkin?" America mocked, rolling his eyes. "You can't tell me what to do, 'cause I'm the hero!"

The gentleman knew the bloke was doing this on purpose just to irritate him...but it was working! "How preposterous! Only in your fat head you are,"

"How about I slap your shit, old man? Oh wait!" The blond feigned surprise as he looked at his wristwatch. "No wonder you're so pissy, it's tea sucking time for you!"

"You disrespectful twit!" he snapped.

America shot back with a simple "Mort!"

"Wanker!"

"Bimbo!"

"Twat!"

"Chode!"

The nations got a laugh out of that one. Except poor Italy, who had no idea what the word meant.

England sputtered before rebutting "You know damn well that no such thing exists!"

"You're right, should I go add it to the list next to unicorns and fairies?"

"OHHHHH!"

Not wanting the other to have the last word, the gentleman defended "They do exist! You're just too daft to see them,"

"Then chodes must also exist, 'cause one is talking to me right now!"

"...I dare you to call me that one more time..." England's voice was low and dark, having just about enough of this ridiculous argument.

"Oh ho, so it's a fight ya want, huh? Well bring it on, old man!" America challenged, making silly kung-fu noises as he got into what seemed to be the crane stance. This earned him a slap on the shoulder by China.

"Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!" A few bored nations started to chant – they needed some form of entertainment...

The older nation was about to barrel his way over to the American's seat and give him a piece of his mind when Germany finally decided to bring back some sanity into the meeting room.

"Stop this foolishness at once!" He accompanied the order with a thunderous slam of his fist onto the mahogany table. When the room finally grew quiet again, the German pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed exasperatingly for the umpteenth time. "Perhaps a-"

"Germany's right, dude! This meeting is now adjourned!" America spoke for him and was already putting on his bomber jacket. "And I won't accept any objections!" He laughed before charging out through the double doors.

Seeing as though it was hopeless to go on with the meeting, and figuring that everyone could use a break, the rest of the world started filing out of the meeting room as well.

A seething Englishman remained in his seat until he could compose himself and rose from his chair. He was just done putting away his papers when he felt a rough hand on his shoulder.

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