Fools Gold [l.s]

[three]

And so long

I've got trouble sleeping

I can't help but feeling a little insecure
So unsure...

-Midnight by Kodaline

_

[Harry's Point Of View]

It was almost 2 am, and I'm still wide awake staring at the ceiling. It was one of those nights wherein I couldn't sleep because of overthinking too much. Louis was the one who consume my thoughts. He was all I ever think about, from his eyes, body, lips, hair- everything about him to be exact. It was one of those nights wherein a heavy ache in my chest lies deep, to the point that tears would slowly fall.

I wiped the tears that fell, and stood up from my bed, walking towards the bathroom. The cold tiles made me flinch, but I continued to walk to the tub, filling it with water. It was really cold, and I only had a shirt and a sweat pants. I turned the faucet off and started to strip off. After peeling my boxers last, I went inside the tub, shivering as I felt the cold water. I sat in the tub, pulling my knees closer to my chest, eyes drawn on the water. I didn't bother putting any bubbles or bath bombs.

My fingers moved under the water, caressing movements. I was so tired. I'm emotionally drain and my chest feels hollow. I don't know what to do anymore. The coldness around me, makes me want to bury myself under a pile of fluffy blankets. But, I also wanted to freeze to death, to see how it would feel like to feel nothing. To feel so weightless. I wanted those, but I couldn't do that to Louis. He may not love me but I know he needs me to be there for him.

'But he's happy without you.' A voice inside my mind whispered.

"I-I guess s-so." I muttered to myself.

'There's no point in trying to make Louis fall in love with you.' The voice whispered again, dripping with venom.

Tears fell to the water, my teeth biting against my lip to refrain myself from sobbing out loud. The voice disappeared but the words are still ringing in my mind, like a broken stereo. It was hard getting the words out now, and I knew that it won't go away. The words will be forever engrave in my head, along with the pain it bought. There was no escape, as to why certain people believe that thoughts kill you. Your mind is secretly the villain, and there was no way that you'd come out alive.

I wiped the tears, my lips quivering. My legs stretched out in the tub, as I lower my head into the water. The cold water was now ear level and I closed my eyes, feeling so sleepy. My lungs felt heavy, and my heart beating madly.

'Why can't you love me, Lou?' I thought, as I took one last breath.

--

It was morning now, the sun should be shining but as of right now, it was raining heavily. The sky was dark and gloomy, something that matches how I feel. The cold air was seeping through my skin. It was depressing really, how I ached for someone who I couldn't have. It makes me feel so worthless and sad. The fact that, I love someone who doesn't love me back, not even if he tried.

I'm currently lying on my bed, staring outside of the window. I was staring at the sky with a frown on my face, as tears were falling down my face. I didn't wipe them away, to tired to do so. My eyes were burningh
and I knew I have to stop crying my eyes out. The itch in my wrist made m want to crawl out of bed and grab the nearest razor, but like I said, I was to tired.

There was no point in living anymore. I find life as a chore and I can't take it anymore. What more do they want? For me to suffer more? To see that Louis doesn't want me?

But I had to remember that if Louis is happy, then I'm happy, even though I'm not the reason why. I love him too much that I would die for him. My mom said it's not healthy anymore but I honestly don't care. If you love someone, you have to sacrifice your happiness for them to be happy. M

So that's what I did.

----

Authors note: votes and comments are always appreciated ❤️