Living Delusions

Chapter 5

There was a knock on the door. "Nobody's home." I yelled while clicking pause on my remote. My father stepped through the doorway, with two figures standing behind him. He was so short that even Julia was slightly taller than him.

"I'm about to head to work." Thats often what he did. "In the mean time these two are here to see you." Chad and Julia fully walked into my room, taking in the mess that I had left my room. "Your mother needs some supplies from the store for her gardening so can you please get that? Im busy working on projects right now." That was nothing unusual.

He walked to the edge of my bed and handed me a list. Afterwards he checked his watch and headed out the door.

"Don't you just love him? Always so loving." I sarcastically scrutinized. Pressing play on my remote I played my movie again, ignoring the two people in my room. Julia looked around the room whistling a tune to herself, then started to cough, waving a hand in front of her face. Chad was dressed in athletic attire that exposed his large toned muscles that ran along his whole body.

"So. Whatcha watchin?" Julia looked at the screen smiling patiently.

"Artificial Intelligence." I said, my eyes clued to the screen.

"Ohhh. Thats, um, lovely." Julia remarked with sarcasm.

"I love that movie. It's about that boy who is a robot, and he becomes obsessed with trying to make his mother love him, but no one will because he's not real. That movie was so cool." Chad chimed unaware of the elephant in the room. Julia looked down at the ground kicking her feet together. At this point I'm tired of the world, and wanted to crawl up in a hole and die. It'd been a week or so since the incedent at the park and my mind, had been reeling with possibilities of what it could all mean. The biggest question of all was, what had he meant by "the human"?

I kept my eyes glued at the screen in silence.

Julia budged Chad, probably hoping he'd get out a word edge wise. Out of the corner of my eye I see Chad walking towards me from the side of my bed.

"I brought you flowers." The perks of your boyfriend working at a flower shop. I can't help but instantly forgive his ignorance. He wasn't aware of the problems that I was going through. I didn't feel like I could tell him. It would forever change the way he perceived me and the world.

"Thank you." No longer transfixed on the screen, I take the red roses from his hands. "They're so pretty." My lips pull up into a smile. Putting my face near the petals I breathe in their aroma, starting to slowly feel better.

"What's bitchin? You weren't at school today? Did you skip? You know I would have skipped with you?" Chad elbowed her, not wanting her to promote rebellous behavior. Which was every part of Julia's nature. She was the definition of a hoodlum.

Julia responded with a "What you gonna do? Come at me bro. Come at me." and adjusted her black jacket with one hand still inside it as if she was holding something.

Answering her questions with another question I asked, "What are you hiding?" Julia walked over to the window, watching as my father pulled out of the driveway. After she was assured that my father was gone she immediantly came back and pulled out a bottle of tequila. I gave Chad a questioning face.

"Don't look at me. I just brought the flowers." Chad shrugged.

"So what is this a party?" I ask.

"You wish. This is the part where we get you drunk out of your mind and you cry on my shoulder." Julia smirked. "Right here." She presented her left shoulder.

Chad toke the last few steps to my bed and laid beside me. I scooched over looking before the two. I finally sighed and gave up the act.

"Theres been so much going on right now. I just don't how to take all of it." Tears rolled down my face. "I'm scared."

"Julia told me what happened." I quickly looked over at Julia. She looked away as if, if she didn't see me then I couldn't see her. "You need to tell me these sorts of things." Julia had the "uh oh" face and decided to talk a swing of her drink and turn on some music.

"Chad it's complicated. I'm f-"

"Don't say your fine. You're always telling me your fine, instead of confronting your problems. As if they'll go away." Chad had rarely ever been like this. He was never a person to bring up confrontation. He was more like me and avoided it, or at least it had seemed that way. Maybe thats what he had allowed me to see the two years we had been together.

"You wouldn't understand, any of this." I said. In response he kept his face somber, but in his eyes there was something else. Pain. Like he'd lost something.

"You remember that time we had gone up to Lake Florenco, and we had a camping trip, because we had seen Lily and Doug go and they kept boasting about how much fun they had? You had decided that you and me were going to go to show them, that we were a fun couple too. I never did like camping because as a kid I had had a bad experience with a bear. You coaxed me into going anyway and said everything would be ok and we were going to have the time of our lives. Sure enough the second day into our trip we had a visitor in our camp. A bear. I was scared. Scared out of my mind. But you, you were determined. You lead the bear away from our camp and sent him after our food supply. But the whole way back you wouldn't speak to me. You shut down. You remember?"

"Yeah, I remember. I hate camping. Any point to this?"

"I knew you had felt quilty about talking me into that trip. I know that you felt quilty for being scared. You felt like it was you fault for getting us to go camping. The point is that it's ok to be scared, and shit happens. Things are going to creep up on you and make you stop and look back and all your choices and question everything you stand for. You can't shut everyone out for that. Theres people there for you." I looked deep into his hazel eyes, and thought upon what he said. Smiling at him I got up from the bed and toke the tequila bottle from Julia and started dancing to the music that was playing. He may be right. I may have to open up to him to him. But not today.

Seriousness etched his face while pain grew in his eyes, as he sat there watching me and Julia dance the night away.

Before long Chad, Julia and me had drank three fourths of the bottle and passed out on my bed tangled up in each other's arms.

Pounding started to grow in my mind. The loud noise expanded and before I knew it creeped past my eyelids causing them to open. There was someone at my door.

"Come in." I whispered trying not to wake my friends. The door opened revealing my father. He toke it in his own hands to wake them up anyway.

"Come on kiddies." He shoke then awake. "It's time to go home." They both arose, their eyes darting back and forth, taking in their surroundings. The day had been long gone and they were probably suprised to wake with no sun outside.

We all exhchanged hugs before they left to leave my father and I alone in my bedroom. I was about to explain the circumstances, but my father sharply arupted with the palm of his hand. "How dare you!?" He asked of me.

I held the side of my face in wonderment. My father and I have never been close, but he has never done anything like this.

"You didn't get your mother the supplies I asked of you. You spent the night doing such childish things. This wasn't what you were meant for." He growled with his fist clamped to his sides.

"If not than what was I meant for. Tell me. What am I to you?"

"I don't want you seeing her anymore."

"Who? Julia!?" He nodded with his lips snarled up, then left the room in ferocity.

Fury enranged me. How dare he do this to me. I felt so impotent. I'd had so many things going on as it was, and he dare try to take the one person who was making it easier for me, away?

I bounced up from my bed and stomped over to my desk and sat down. I gathered all my notes on my project. I started up my computer in preparation, but tears started to blur my vision.

"No." I thought wiping the tears away. There were all wrong. I was wrong. I wasn't afraid of what was going to happen at the book store. I hadn't even been scared when that man threatened Julia. I had been weak.

But that was going to change. With my notes gathered and the computer up and running, I tested, tweaked and ran my finished program over and over again, until it was perfect.