This story has a good plot line- it really does. The only thing with the story is that you may want to leave the extra stuff behind like with the twin thing in the first sentence, save those kinda of things in the author's note which goes below. Another thing are paragraphs.
Make paragraphs your best friend, like with this:
Before:
Hello my name is Joesph .But this book isn't about me it's about well I'm at an orphanage.My parents died in a car crash,I can't even find my twin brother!(ps I do have a twin brother in real life also).Where was I,oh,yeah!I'm 7 years old but smart well 1\10 I'd say 7/10.
My edit:
"Joesph! Get ready our special guest is coming, and who knows? Maybe he will adopt you!" I sigh and look at the picture in my hands, the only picture I have of my parents before they died of a car crash. After they passed people separated me from my twin brother. I've tried to keep in contact with him but every time I ask an adult for any information about him, they would shrug me off.
Adults would never listen to a seven year old, they would think I'm too young to know anything, but I'm not. My mother use to tell me other children had the minds of 1 out of ten, I was a seven out of then. I was six at the time.
***
But thats just my edit, the book is good, just need to space out some words. If you really need help use Grammly.com that really helped me.
Keep writing & Keep moonwalking!
~Michael
YOU ARE READING
Book Review
Random"Michael why haven'tyou answered my calls?" "I was reading on Wattpad, leave me alone."
