a Piece of Art

19.0 T H E T I M E

   "Congratulations on your first interview. You did great.

   I know you might not be ready now, nor would like to hear this, but I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I let you make the same mistakes I did.

   Your mother's birthday is soon. I'll be there. You might have needed to run away to be who you wanted to be but if I know anything about you is that if you could have had it any other way, you would had.

   Now they aren't standing in your way.

   Happy Valentine's Day,

   P."

   Said his note that I found outside my door along with a single red rose.

***

   The days were passing by, nearing the dreaded date. I tried to push every thought of it, even thought I couldn't stop thinking about it.

   Less than a month to her birthday and I knew that my mother will already be planing everything for it to be perfect, if she hasn't finished the preparatives yet. That's how things worked back there, parties were planned with months of preparation and sophistication was the key.

   Few days after I received Parker's note, I cracked and told Naomi everything. About my parents, the house I lived in, my childhood. I just let Parker away, even if I was slowly turning the childhood crush into simple thankfulness, I still felt that topic was mine, and I didn't wish to speak about it.

   She listened to me, cursed in the appropriated moment and more than anything, understood me. When I cried, she hugged me and when she needed to tell me that it was enough crying, she also did it. Because that was Naomi.

   She still thought I was insane for even considering going. She tended to hold grudges longer than I did. Parker was specially right in something he said. If I could have persuaded further education without having to leave my family house, I would have. I never wanted to be on bad terms with my parents. After all, I still wanted their approbation, their love, even if I couldn't change who they were.

   "Lizzie, are you sure?" Naomi asked. Her feet crossed, her knees to her chest, in my sofa. We were having a movie night, we certainly needed it after all the crying and sappy story sharing. She also told me more about her family, but that's her story to tell.

   "No, I certainly ain't." I shook my head. "I don't know what to do."

   "I don't want to discourage you from it. I just want you to think this over. If they know where you are there's no way back." Her words felt strangely similar to the ones my grandma had told me about Parker.

   "Naomi, that's something I can't stop thinking about. And it makes me doubt. Do they really don't know where I am?" I said honestly. "They have the best investigators just a phone call away. They either now, and don't care or they chose to not know."

   That's what hurts me the most. I added in my head, but didn't say it out loud.

   "That makes no sense, Lizzie. Why would they do that?"

   "I don't know..."

***

   Everything felt surprisingly... calm. Suddenly, I didn't have the stress I had previously on. I somehow was getting the hand out of studying, I was actually enjoying my classes and I had discovered that I did more than fine in my exams. I got perfect marks.

   I wouldn't say things with my friends were back to normal, because they never would be, but we were okay. We had come to terms with the fact that there was nothing we could do to change the situation. The man that hit them accidentally would be in prison for a few months, seeing that it was partly Jackson's fault, for crossing with a red light. But we didn't avoid talking about him anymore. Any time his name appeared in a conversation, we all had something to say about him that would make us all laugh and remember him fondly.

   I was even talking to more people from my other classes. I didn't just speak to my friends but enchanted notes with other fellow students, and we even got together at a near cafe to study. I was less and less isolated and felt actually comfortable talking with people I barely knew.

   We hadn't talked much, and I had only seen him a few times, professionally, but Parker and I were okay too. We didn't text usually but I didn't either ran away when he had something to tell me. Most of his gallery was now full of new photos I took. There were even photos I took of him, when he didn't notice, but that Pam loved.

   I had people actually interested in buying photos I took and I had done more than one interview.

   Everything seemed to be falling in its place. Expect one thing.

   I knew grandma would probably be mad, if that's even an emotion she could feel towards me. I was probably being ungrateful but I just couldn't help it. I still liked to think that I was better than them. My parents were alive, and I didn't want to act like they weren't. I may not need their economical support anymore, I can do what I truly want and not what they think I should want but I'll always need their family love at least.

   So once again, I would have to make my dear grandmother Lucy part of my plan. Once again, hopefully for the last time, there would be a plan again. This time not to run, but to enter.

   I grabbed my phone and dialed her.

   She didn't pick up, so I left her a message.

   "Hey Grandma, please give me a call when you get this message. I need to talk to you. There's something I need you help with. Love you."

--- as much as it pains me, I must let you know... that there is only one chapter left.