(1/30/17)
I really haven't had a will to write this year. This is really uncommon for me. Any of my old journals, online or not, have so much detail and personality in them. Maybe these just hurt to write now, because.. I don't wanna say REAL stuff is going on.. but DEEPER stuff is.
To say the least, I broke it off with my older partner, and ended up with who I was dreaming to have for several years. You guessed it, the guy from my sophmore year journal. I should write several journals as my update and use this one to vent.
My depression spells always sucked, but this doesn't feel like a spell. This feels like I continually washed away. The bleach used to wash me away takes my will to live and drive to do anything away. I know there's got to be parts in me that still care.. Especially since I stay in a relationship, I still do my work, and I am.. Most ironically of ALL.. Am giving a speech on mental health awareness.
That, in a long story short, I attempted to off it. The school found out and blah blah blah. I told the school more education needs to be done on mental health. They agreed, and voila! I am now helping with a school wide mental health thing. aaaaye..?
I am the last person qualified in all honesty lol. I am excited to at least have the memory of it. I could say I did SOMETHING in my life to help people like me. There's gonna be two: One for adults and one for kids. I am speaking at the adults.
I already lost my energy to write. Nice!... Even though I would really love to put everything into words.
