The Bitten

Chapter 2. Decisions, Dicisions

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Chapter 2

Decisions, Decisions

I now fully understand both of them, Guiltentineal and Prejadite. Would I rather feel guilt than prejudice or just the opposite? Since I’m a Bitten, what will the injection do to me? Will the medication even rid me of either one or harm me? I guess it doesn’t really matter that much. Right now, I just have worry about mastering pretending to be kind, happy, and thoughtless of myself all at the same time. I think I can, but anger is a pretty strong feeling and I’m full of it at the moment. I have to try, though, or I won’t survive.

I listen to the squeaking of my flats on the ultra waxed hospital floor. The sound irritates me, so I do it more. I like experiencing these new things, even the unpleasant ones. I turn the first corner and board the elevator. I reach for the button labeled thirteen, but I hesitate. The basement button catches my eye. I want to go to the jailing area and talk to Minor so badly the pull from the button is almost palpable. I know I have to press 13 to choose. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I shoot my arm out and punch the gleaming number 13 button. Up I go.

~

The doors slink open to reveal a dreadfully white room. As I dizzily stumble out of the elevator, I squint while my eyes try to focus. There are a few people in the room, choosing how they will live the rest of their lives. At least twenty plastic covered chairs and matching tables seem to haunt the room. Only a few of them are occupied, but one chair has my name on it. One of those chairs will change my life forever. I never thought of this task as anything more that confirming who I am. Now I know it’s a huge part of changing my sense of self forever. My existence will never be the same. Life as I know it is over. I’m starting fresh with dirty hands in this all-too-clean world. I will become that nasty pest they can’t destroy. I want to be a strong breath of fresh air, not something to be dismissed as unimportant. I will become that force and there won’t be a thing the Powers can do about it.

I walk to a lady that sits behind the counter. I situate my face to seem excited. “Excuse me?” I say in my best Concordian voice. “I am here to choose, today.”

“Hi there, darling! Sign your name and birthday in the book. Be sure to check the box of your choice.” She winks at me and returns to her job on the computer.

The box of my choice, I repeat silently to myself. “Thank you,” I reply with a hint of an excited squeal at the end of my sentence.

I divert my attention from her to the booklet. I carefully sign my name and then my birthday. Which box is it going to be, Spencer? I start to hear the conflicting voices of two important people.

I expect you to stay that way.-Mother

Trust Me.-Minor

Don’t change who you are for a boy.-Mother

You’re a strong girl, Spencer.-Minor

I want to slouch on the floor and sob for my mother. A new thing for me is being able to feel for the ones I love. Mother is alive for now. I push the thoughts from my head. I have to focus so people don’t get suspicious. If I truly want to become that driving force that the Powers desperately want to get rid of I have to be strong and focus. I remember the light in Minor’s eyes that gave me the hope to try to survive and now it gives me the hope to keep going. I have to see that he’s okay and get him out of that place. I need to be a Guiltentineal to do that.

I am so sorry, Mother. I silently tell her as if she can read my thoughts, and then check the box. “Okay, then.”

“All righty! Walk to the Guiltentineal side and have a seat, please. An attendant will be right with you,” she says after reviewing my signature.