Bad Luck {Louis Tomlinson} [ON HOLD]

Chapter 14 - Letting Go, University and Amanda

(I've given up editing. Sorry for mistakes but the length of this chappeh makes up for it)

(I know her University starts at a weird time but bear with me.)

(Play I Almost Do on replay because it makes so much sense and links to the current situation. Go Taylor.)

Hazel's POV

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I stared ahead, my body tense. I didn't feel nervous but I knew that some essence in my mind didn't want to go. Something telling me that it'll all be unhappy when we get there. My mum pulled up and we got out, Will almost dragging me inside the bowling place. We got fitted for bowling shoes and Will and my mum started bowling. I sat back and stared at the clock, ticking by. Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, to- my absent thoughts were cut off by the door opening. Why did that certain movement catch my attention so much? Why did I feel compelled to look? Every time my brain tells me to look or do something it turns out badly. I continued looking at the clock as a bunch of new voices came in. I knew this place wasn't a library but did they have to be that obnoxious. Tick, tock, tick, tock, tic- something cut across my view. I adjusted my eyes and saw a curly haired boy in front of me. Oh. No.. No, no, no, no, no... It may not be him but I didn't want to take my chances. Standing up, I kept my head down and jogged to the restroom. I slammed the ladies door and slid down it, hyperventilating and on the brink of tears. Why am I being punished like this? Do I really deserve to feel all of this pain? I can't do all of this! If I have to stay inside my house every day then so be it! I crawled up onto the sink bench and started looking at the clock, counting the seconds.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7...

1410, 1411, 1412, 1413, 1414- I stopped counting abruptly as I heard shouting. What? I mustered all my courage up and slowly tiptoed out of the restroom, peeking my head around the corner to see what was going on. The sight made me gasp and cover my hand with my mouth. It was Louis. Louis and... I squinted my eyes but couldn't recognise the girl he had his hands on the waist of. She had dark brown wavy and was a little shorter than him. He was smiling down at her and she was balancing on her tippy toes, biting her lip, I think. Then the tears started flowing. I can't believe what I'm seeing. He leant down and kissed her passionately just like he would me. Will was in the background looking at him sadly. Then he spotted me and realised I'd seen all of it. Every little detail. Will's look turned into one of hatred as he shook his head at Louis. He ran over to me and held me in his arms as I started sobbing. Louis looked at what was happening and as Will pulled away, he spotted me. Standing like a deer caught in the headlights with a mascara stained face. I looked at him blankly and walked up to Louis slowly.

"See? I was right. The real Louis doesn't care about me. Thank god I left, right?" I smiled politely at the girl who looked as if she was about to burst into tears from regret and guilt and gave Louis a sad, half hearted smile. I turned around and slowly walked away. I give up. I feel strong though. As if seeing that he didn't love me completed the outer shell I was growing. I won't say it didn't hurt but I'm not going to say that he's broken me again. I'm still technically broken. Sure, I was glued back together but a chunk of me fell off and that got lost in the fixing process. If Louis were to come after me now I'd probably slap him. I start Uni soon. I don't need to be a mess while doing it. That wasn't part of the deal. I got in the car as my mum and Will ran after me. Will wrapped me up in a hug which I returned gladly.

"It's ok to show your pain," he whispered in my ear. I looked up at him.

"That's it though, I have no pain to show. Sure, I'm still a little cracked and scratched from him but I don't think those wounds will ever heal," I said sadly. Will smiled sadly and helped me into the car. I leant my head against his shoulder and sighed in regret. It was either his life or mine. One would get screwed up, I just chose the option to let him live a happy life. I wanted him to find a new girl and he's done it. He kept his promise. I bet he'll sit in his chair by the window, looking out at the city and I hope sometimes he'll wonder 'bout me, And I just want to tell him, it takes everything in me not to call him, and I just want to run to him and I hope he knows that everytime I don't, I almost do. (Swiftay reference). We arrived home and went inside. I sat on my bed as Will joined me, sitting in the chair in the corner of my room. I lay my head back and closed my eyes. This was it. I'd start Uni next week and my job 2 days into it. Will would have to move to go to his own Uni and I'd have to start over again. I'd see tabloids about One Direction and their new girlfriends. Heck, maybe that girl will become Louis' first proper girlfriend in a while. He never asked me out. She wouldn't be a rebound. I hope he doesn't screw her over like he did me. 5 years time, I'll be finishing my degree and I'll be engaged to someone. I'll be having a kid in 8 months or so and Louis would have proposed to this girl. I'll still have mental relapses where I go completely ballistic if anyone touches me and it'll scare the hell out of my kids because I was never quite fixed properly. I'll grow old with that man at my side and I'll eventually die. My last thoughts won't be anything about my family. I'll be thinking about how I never stopped loving Louis. Then, when I die, Louis will receive a letter in the post, apologising, saying I was dead. How he'll respond to that? Beats me.