Wasn't it Supposed to be Different?

15: Breeches and a Blouse

Christia's POV

I didn't know what I felt, but something was coming to a realization inside me.

Sitting in - well a sitting room, what was the name for?- Meria and I were back at our sewing.

I let out a sigh, Meria eyed me curiously but it was another moment before she decided to comment on it.

"What is it? I have never seen you grow bored of your stitchery before?"

I didn't answer her at first, I feared she wouldn't understand my longing for Ivan. Or I feared she would understand all too well, which I didn't want to risk finding out.

It still frustrated me, Her closeness to my husband. What was one to think?

"Ivan." I let out in a quiet whisper. Mind you a whisper is quiet, but there is nothing so quiet as a quiet whisper.

But for all my quietness she heard me, even if I didn't want to have this conversation.

"What of him?" She looked up from her baby clothes, her eyes so innocent that it almost made me believe I was wrong in my assumptions.

I didn't answer, just eyed her warrily. In our time apart I felt myself trusting Meria and I's relationship less and less. What if I didn't know this woman as well as I thought?

She looked at me with a disbelieving look, "If you believe I have those kinds of feelings for him you're a bigger fool than I thought."

Her words both comforted and insulted. Affronted I stared for a moment, then went back to my sewing intent on ignoring her.

The insufferable woman just laughed, grating on my nerves.

"What should I do? Believe that my husband is completely impervious to your charms! You were always the prettier one, even before we were out of the schoolroom the beaux were flocking."

She was quiet after my out burst, I had never said my true thoughts out loud before. Ivan hadn't been the best influence on me in that way.

"I had no idea you thought of me in that way." She said softly, bringing the guilt down on my shoulders.

"I don't, I just..." I really wasn't making anything better.

"I love Ivan, not in the way you think. No one but Elexonder could be my everything." She started.

I listened quietly, most ashamed of my conduct.

"He is more like a, a brother you understand?" She explained, "Not that I truly know what a brother is like." laughing hesitantly.

Her and me both, I had never considered a brother being a single child the closest thing I had to a sibling was Meria.

Meria had a brother, but she was nearly eighteen years his senior. She was a single child for all of her childhood.

I was hesitant to believe Meria,  but why would she be carrying someone else's child if she was in love with Christia's Ivan? It didn't make sense, therefore she had to be telling the truth.

"I miss him." I admitted in a very soft voice, "More than I've ever missed someone before. I wish I was with him."

Meria looked at me for a while with a thoughtful look, "Then go after him!" she said with the tone of 'why haven't you already if you're so mopey about it.'

I disregarded the crazy Idea, as if I would be off my rocker enough or magically aquire the skills to go on a quest to find a prince on a quest.

Camping on the way  back from the troll's labrynth was as much wilderness skill I had ever needed to learn. And even that was entirely out of my comfort level.