Deepest Shade of Jaded

Chapter 10-Lights Out

Deepest Shade of Jaded

Chapter Ten

Sitting on the roof I stared out at the parking lot. Why was everyone so worked up about a kiss? It's not like Chris and I were full on making out. "God I know it's been a while. I haven't been very attentive to what you want. I have been doing things for my own glory and not yours. Yet you still brought my brother and me together when you didn't have to. I can't tell you how thankful I am for this. But I am unsure Lord. If Devin wants me to go with him, and I do, I would be leaving the life I've known. I'm not sure what my chosen path is. I pray to you to ask for guidance. Forgive me for my sins and trespasses. Amen."

"Were you just praying?" a deep voice asked. Startled, I jumped and smacked my head against the brick chimney I was leaning against. "Ow!" I groaned rubbing the sore spot. "As a matter of fact I was. Were you just eavesdropping on a private conversation between me and my creator?" I asked smartly. Angelo blushed and nodded. "It's fine. Come sit with me, we haven't really talked." He made his way over to me and sat down beside me. "They're just worried, you know. Chris gets attached really easily, and we saw how much you like your friend Maxx." I looked up at him. "Is it that obvious?" He nodded laughing, a deep sound. "It doesn't matter, he wouldn't want me anyways. I'm not as great as people like to think. I get that I have talents, and I work hard for the things I have. But it's hard not knowing what will trigger a blackout. The simplest things- a color, a facial expression, I'll drop like a stone. It's hard work minimizing them." He nodded. "Devin used to have really bad nightmares. He'd wake up screaming for you, that he couldn't leave you behind. Most of the time we couldn't wake him up, we just had to wait it out. They only stopped a few months ago. The reason I'm telling you this is because we love him despite that. It didn't matter if none of us slept for days, as long as he was okay. I'm sure Maxx feels the same way about your blackouts." "Angelo, you can't tell anyone this, especially Devin. A couple of weeks ago I had a blackout so my ex took me to the doctor. He told me these blackouts could kill me. I'm scared that I'm going to die before I really get to know my brother again. I can't tell him, I don't know how to." I said in a whisper. Angelo and I just sat there for a few minutes. I felt him stir beside me and he hugged me tightly, "We'll figure this out Jade. I promise." We let go and stood up, walking over to the edge of the roof. Angelo climbed down first, me following swiftly. The rest of Motionless and Maxx were standing by the side door. I walked close by Angelo, scared of what Maxx might say. Despite his sweet attitude towards me, he had a nasty temper. They turned to look at us as we approached them. I expected Maxx to yell at me but instead he rushed over to hug me. "I was so worried you had blacked out somewhere. Are you okay? We were looking over for you then Ange ran off muttering something about the view." I turned to Ange, "Speaking of, how did you know where I would be?" He smiled at me, "Because Devin does the same thing when he's upset. He goes to the highest place he can find and just sits there. I figured that since you're his sister you must have some of the same habits. Turns out I was right."

As I spent the next few nights pacing back and forth, I kept falling into deep thoughts that only brought me to more -yet less serious- blackouts. People had to constantly stay with me, in fear that I would slip into my coma any time soon. I had to sit down a lot of the time because all the effort I had put into thinking, only resulted in me becoming lightheaded and tired. A lot of things had happened that I needed to think about; but there was one thing that was preying on my mind.

It happened a few days ago. It was a cold night, and I'd just climbed down from the roof that I oh-so often visited. As I started to walk into the house, I felt a tap on my shoulder and someone whispered in my ear. I turned around slowly, only to be faced by Chris. I smiled up at him, and he just stared back; an unblinking mass.

"What's up, Chris?" I asked, cautious. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out- only crisp, cool wisps of air.

"Chris?" I asked again, taking hold of his forearm gently. This seemed to snap him out of his daze, and his eyes bore into mine.

"Jade, there's something I have to tell you." Chris said. I cocked my head in a confused manner, and nodded as a way to tell him to continue. Taking a deep breath, he began to speak again.

"Ever since I saw you at our concert, I felt something. Ever since we sang together, I knew there was something there. I couldn't tell you because I knew you'd tell Maxx, and he'd become angry because he's protective of you. But we're alone now," he took a step towards me, whilst I was too shocked to move, "Jade, you're beautiful. You're funny, talented and just purely amazing." By now, Chris' eyes were filled with many emotions, love being one of them. "Don't deny it; I know you feel the same." Before I got a chance to speak, Chris' lips were on mine again. But this was not a soft, passionate kiss like the one on stage. No- this was desperate, filled with hope, pain and joy. And it was wrong. This is a kiss that should only be shared with Alex, no Maxx. Only Maxx.

Scrunching up my face, I managed to pull away from Chris' now swollen lips. As hurt and rage filled his eyes, guilt overcame my body, and I slowly felt myself sinking to my knees. Tears rolled down my face and the only words I could muster were "I don't need this. I don't want this. I don't want you." I heard feet pattering up behind me, and someone's hand on my shoulder. By the time I looked up, Chris had gone, but I still felt a sense of anger lingering in the frozen air. Now, it was just Maxx and I. Me and Maxx. And this is how it would remain for what felt like an infinity.

A/N: Hey, guys! I'm a new writer of this story. I'm going by my name, which is Tegan. I wrote the second half to this chapter. I hope you like what I wrote! I'm very privileged to be a part of writing this story!:)