Ich Liebe Dich

Love and the flowers ("El amor y las flores" English version)

"I love you and i've always done it", those words have been in my mind since she yelled at me the other night. Some days have passed since that party, since I saw Sophia kissing with another man, some days since I don't see her, the girl who loves me, the girl who have always loved me for real.
I get out of bed and walk to the balcony to see the landscape. I have not left home for several days...I have been passing the time writing, drinking, thinking. 

I come back to the room and lit my phone. 50 missed calls from Sophia, 20 from my mother, 20 from my daughters, nearly 100 messages of the band but nothing from her, not messages, not calls...nothing. I'm feeling strange, like alone, so alone...

It's true, Sometimes loneliness acts in me as a wave of creativity, you know,  art could not exist without pain, but this time it's different. Yes, I spent some time writing...but just the first days, then my brain was like dry, I had no ideas, no words, nothing, just the " I love you and i've always done it"
I still can't believe it...what Sophia did? No....I still can not believe what she said, the girl who always loved me and, even when I did not realize it, who inspired me...
Really she said that? Yes, but oh well, why am I surprised? It happened before with other girls, even I said it before sometime...sometime...
I walk downstairs and go to the living room. All is in order except from some toys from my little Fritz. I love when he comes to visit me.
What is that noise? Oh, true, my stomach. I walk to the kitchen and on my way, i'm looking at everything on my wall, photos, records...
Juice, eggs, sausagges, I need to eat good, i'm not a child anymore, the life of a musician has a price.
After having breakfast, I need a shower and some good clothes, I finally need to left my house...but before i'm going again to the balcony.

What a beautiful view.

Stilll is early, I can hear the birds, the sun...god, the sun reminds me of her eyes...

I think I finally  have an idea for a poem.

~How could you even dream
That I would say to you
What I hardly dare think~*****

After write this, I take my keys, my phone and I leave home. I have a meeting with the band. Finally.

Going outside, I can see a beautiful flowers on my garden, and that's when I think:

Love is like a flower, even the most beautiful dies.

*****"Ich liebe dich" - Till Lindemann poeam, "In stillen Nächten", 2013